Nineteen Ninety
by VoicesoftheSoul
Summary: Toris looked old then, Natalia thought. The young, fresh face that presented itself to the world was stripped away, and she caught a glimpse of the man underneath. A man that had been forged by centuries of conflict and self-sacrifice. Belarus/Lithuania
1. Chapter 1

**Nineteen Ninety**– Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own APH; no, not even in my dreams.

_What do I owe to you,_

_Who loved me deep and long?_

_You never gave my spirit wings,_

_Or gave my heart a song._

_But oh, to him I loved,_

_Who loved me not at all,_

_I owe the open gate_

_That led through heaven's wall._

_- Sara Teasdale_

"Brother, I've been thinking," Natalia peered over the top of her almost empty tea cup, fixing her gaze on said older sibling. Ivan, who was sitting at the other end of the weathered kitchen table, set down his newspaper.

"Da, Natasha?" The Belarusian's heart warmed a bit at the utterance of her pet name.

"A spring wedding would be lovely, don't you think?" She smiled, happily day-dreaming of the proposed event. "It's almost Aprli, and the snow should be gone by …" Natalia trailed off.

Her older brother's face had paled, his hands balled up into fists. The newspaper was crumpled in his grip. This irked her, just a little. Why did Ivan always get like this whenever she talked of their inevitable union? It was like he was afraid or something.

_Ridiculous, _she complained silently.

Natalia opened her mouth to question Ivan's hesitation, but was interrupted by the unwelcome entrance of one of the Baltic nations; Toris, to be exact.

_Not him again!_

Natalia bristled - just her luck that _he_ would walk in on her and Ivan together. Toris seemed to sense her animosity.

"Atsiprašau," Toris apologized as he crossed the room. "I-I'll just be grabbing the matches…really quick." His eyes were downcast, glued to the floorboards. Natalia did notice, however, that they would flicker towards her every now and then.

Ivan's demeanor, in the meantime, brightened ten-fold.

"Firewood!" he exclaimed. "We need firewood! I'll go chop some, da?"

Natalia's already present frown deepened. "Vanya, its springtime; we don't need anymore."

"Nyet, nyet," he waved away her protestations. "That General Winter is a tricky one, da? Always vigilant, he is! Always waiting for me to drop my guard…" Then the tall nation left the kitchen muttering something about "sneak attacks."

Both Toris and Natalia watched Ivan as he exited, one with longing, the other with apprehension. They both remained motionless until the sound of the slamming front door reverberated through-out the door; life resumed.

Toris caught her eye for a moment as he turned back to the kitchen cabinets, a small apologetic smile on his lips.

Natalia's scowl was _always_ ready to retaliate in an instance such as this; she flashed the Lithuanian her darkest, nastiest look, and stood up.

_Apology, _not_ accepted._

Toris was still searching for that elusive box of matches as Natalia stalked out into the hallway, absolutely livid that her brother's subordinate had ruined her moment…again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

With Ivan out in the woods and all, she didn't really have that much to do. Natalia spent at least an hour wandering aimlessly through the halls of her brother's expansive house. She'd spend ten minutes lounging in one room, then move to the next.

Natalia was not looking at the next few weeks with optimism; she'd only just arrived at Ivan's house three days ago. Spring at her place tended to be a lonely time, so Natalia spent about a month at her older brother's home each year. Not even a week into her stay, and she was already terribly bored.

Lying on unused beds, sitting in the library with nothing to do; she despised it. The other nations present in the house picked up on Natalia's mood. They had the good sense (coupled with wishes of self-preservation) to avoid her at any cost. Or, at least, Eduard and Raivis did.

Natalia found herself running into Toris every other hour, but whether it was by coincidence or by design she had no way of knowing. The latter was the most likely, in her opinion.

Finally, she found an old issue of _Pravda_, hiding in-between the sitting room bookcase and the wall. Relaxing on the soft couch, Natalia amused herself by flipping through page after page of dated articles and old propaganda. She had probably managed to read the entire thing, cover to cover, at least ten times before Ivan returned home. The Russian had dragged countless cords of useless wood back from his short expedition, and no sooner had the front door slammed was dinner set out on the table.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Dinner that night was borscht; it was quite good, actually. Not that Natalia was going to say anything about it. She busied herself by stirring some sour cream into the red soup, trying to coax Ivan into conversation as she did so.

As usual, her brother tried his hardest to give Natalia one worded responses, like "da", or "nyet". Then he would turn his attention back to preaching at the Baltics, who were sitting opposite him. Toris held Ivan's interest in particular.

Natalia sent a vicious glare in the green-eyed nation's direction.

_Durny ubliudok; who does he think he is, stealing all of Ivan's attention?_

Although to be honest, Toris did look a little uncomfortable being the ear to Ivan's ramblings. She glanced at his brothers; Eduard was just quietly picking at his food, ignoring everything around him. Farthest from her was Raivis, shaking uncontrollably as always.

Natalia's resentment grew throughout the meal until a nasty, cold-feeling knot had formed in her gut. Eventually, Ivan excused himself to his study and the three Baltics were consumed with the post-meal clean up; Raivis was walking past her carrying a ridiculously huge tower of bowls and plates.

Watching with dark fascination, Natalia thought, _he's going to drop them, no doubt. __Niazhrabny nievuk! _No sooner had the Belarusian thought this, it came true. Raivis, being his unlucky self, had managed to trip over his own feet and send the entire pile of chinaware crashing to the floor. Shards of broken plates and bowls now littered the kitchen.

"Oh, Raivis…" Eduard shook his head, expression grim.

"Atvainojiet, atvainojiet!" the tiny nation sputtered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! It was an accident."

Toris peeled off to find a broom and a dustpan, his face twisted in fear, as Eduard tried to help his sibling clean up the nasty mess he'd gotten himself into.

Natalia watched, transfixed by the awful spectacle, as the three nations panicked completely. Any illusion of calm that had been present before slipped away with the seconds that passed.

_Should…should I help them?_

She remained immobile. And worse still, Toris had just returned from the pantry with the broom when –

"What happened here?"

Everyone froze, joining Natalia in horrified silence. Every head in the kitchen turned to the source of the deadly sounding voice.

Ivan stood in the doorway, filling every gap, crushing any hope of escape. The noise of breaking china must have summoned him from his study.

"_What_._ Happened_. _Here_?" He asked again, voice hushed. Anger seethed beneath the childishly happy tone that the Russian always spoke in. The playful light was fading from his amethyst eyes, turning them dark – the situation was quickly becoming dangerous.

Raivis was shaking so violently, Natalia was astounded that he didn't fall to pieces -literally.

The quivering teen lifted himself off the floor with concerted effort, away from the spot where he'd been collecting china shards with his bare hands.

"I – I'm the one at fault," he stammered. "Mr. Braginski…"

Ivan nodded slowly, raising his closed fist high in the air. It looked like he was going to _hit _the small Latvian.

_He's not really going to, is he? He can't! _Natalia tried to register what was happening in front of her. It was almost surreal. The entire ordeal didn't match up the spotless image of Ivan she had in her head. _Should I step in?_

"Sustoti!" Natalia turned towards the direction of the shout. _Toris?_

The Lithuanian stepped bravely forward. "Stop," he repeated. "Don't hurt Raivis, Mr. Braginski, prašom. It was my fault." His head was held high, but he was visibly unsettled. "I shouldn't have let him try to carry so many dishes at once."

Toris took a shaky breath. "Punish me instead," he said so quietly, Natalia almost didn't hear him. Raivis made a small, pained sound, and Eduard closed his eyes, clasping his hands tightly.

_What kind of punishment? _She couldn't help but wonder. Because, judging by the reactions of the other two Baltics, it wasn't very good.

Ivan stood still, a contemplative look on his face. The fist was still high in the air, hanging like a frozen pendulum. "Da," he finally ceded, arm lowering, eyes softening. "Go wait for me in my room."

_Room? Why…_then it dawned on her. _Boža moj…_

Her hands grabbed and clenched the hem of her sweater uncontrollably. Natalia felt nauseous, more so than ever in her entire existence. She thought about saying something, but realized that would just make the situation worse.

Toris left the room, each step looking like a tremendous effort. But before he disappeared out of sight completely, Natalia caught the look that he gave the back of Ivan's head. Hate, and fear. Both were present in the Lithuanian's green eyes. There was no way to describe the peculiar mix of emotions that Natalia was feeling then.

_But, Toris…I thought that he was the one keeping me from my brother?_

Yes, he still was, she figured. But now Natalia knew a crucial little detail that had escaped her before; it wasn't with consent that Toris let Ivan administer his affections.

Ivan was busy lecturing Raivis about the plates, as Eduard cleaned up. Little Raivis looked close to tears, and Eduard was picking up the sharp fragments of chinaware. He didn't even care that the porcelain shards were lacerating his hands. _And Toris…_

It was at that moment exactly, watching Ivan's horrible display of power, that Natalia got an idea.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia lay in bed, not even an hour later, thinking. She had to admit, she was rather impressed with the ingenuity of her own plan; but she was also caught in a dilemma of the "ethical-moral" sorts.

The sounds of Toris's punishment emanated throughout the house. Natalia heard every word, every protestation, and every gasp. If these sounds reached her ears, than surely they reached Eduard and Raivis's as well.

She had never been witness to Ivan's discipline of the Baltic's before. Sure, Natalia had been the ear to Ivan's complaints about them, but she had never seen nations who were so utterly terrified of their superior. Not like that.

It wasn't in Natalia's nature to be sympathetic, but she couldn't help feeling pity for the three nations; the one paying a night visit to her brother in particular. The fact that it was Ivan, so loved and adored, who was causing Toris to emit such noises set her at unease. Had she not known the circumstances of their…_lovemaking_…Natalia would have been infuriated.

Even still, it was taking all of her will power not to charge down the hallway and stop it. But was it for Toris, or for Ivan? Natalia hated to admit it to herself, but she didn't know the answer. The Belarusian argued back and forth with herself for what seemed like an eternity, but in the end….

She stayed in bed.

She should've done something. Sure, Toris wasn't her most favorite person in the world, but…

_What if it was you? _The tiny, almost mute voice living in the back of her mind constantly berated her.

It took Natalia a while to finally fall asleep; slumber had to contend with the echoes of forced affection coming from not fifteen feet away, as well as the whispering voiced playing tug of war in her head.

**DICTIONARY:**

**Atsiprašau** - sorry in Lithuanian

**Prašom** - please

**Sustoti** - stop

**Da** + **Nyet** - yes + no in Russian

**Durny ubliudok** - stupid bastard in Belarusian

**Niazhrabny nievuk** - clumsy ignoramus

**Boža moj **- oh my God

**(A/N)** I can write again! After half a year of possessing no working word program, I have once again returned to . The internet cannot portray the euphoria I am experiencing. This is my first APH work, and I hope I have captured the characters that I have come to adore. Have no fear of criticizing, for I will take it with the intention to learn… as long as it is constructive.

In case you haven't figured it out, this story is going to be about Lithuania and Belarus. Not so much Latvia and Estonia (sorry). I use their human names, because to me it seems more authentic that way.

I researched just about as much as I possibly could to make this fanfic as historically and technologically accurate as possible. I also apologize for any error in the translations (I just plugged them into that thing on Google).

If you have any questions, please leave them in a review or a PM. Thanks!

Sorry for the long author's note…*hangs head in shame.*

Now, click the review button and receive a metaphorical cookie for doing so!

Tune in next time, - V.o.t.s.


	2. Chapter 2

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Hetalia…and that makes me sad :C

Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free.

- Paul Tillich

The next morning, after Ivan came up with another excuse to out all day, and after the unbearable awkwardness of breakfast, Natalia sought out Toris. Scouring each room on the first floor, she came up fruitless. She finally found him in a remote wing of the second floor, stationed in front of a big window that looked out into the woods. He had a bucket by his side and a rag in his hand, but the Lithuanian wasn't cleaning.

He stood there, staring out into the lush trees, the damp rag in his grasp pressed motionless against the glass. There were dark bruise marks ringing his neck – he'd pulled his collar up so they'd be harder to see. But they were there, no denying it. Upon closer scrutiny, Natalia realized that the dark blemishes were shaped like fingers.

"Toris." The name felt oddly shaped in her mouth; it had not passed her lips in a very, very long time.

He jumped, and whipped around to face her. "Praleisti Natalia!" he exclaimed, voice hoarse. "Can I get you something?"

Natalia shook her head, and stepped closer the nation, who for all purposes was a glorified servant.

"Why do you let Ivan do those things to you?" Brazen and to the point; just how she liked her conversations. But apparently, brazen and to the point was not Toris's preference. His face paled; his shaking hands began to wring the window-rag viciously.

"What do you mean?" he said, failing in attempt to seem clueless.

_So _that's _the way he's going to play it._

"I have ears, you know. I also have eyes, and I saw the look you gave Ivan last night. I heard what he did to you."

Toris's shoulders sagged a little, as did his head; the classic stance of defeat. "I see…" he whispered to the floor.

"So, why then?" _Why do you let my brother rape you?_

Running a hand through his hair nervously, he told her. "…Because if I didn't, then he'd just do it to Eduard and Raivis. I can't stand idly by and let something happen that doesn't have too." Toris began scrubbing a non-existent smear on a windowpane…hard. "It's better me than them," he continued. "Why should all of us suffer when only one has too? I'm the oldest – it's my responsibility to keep them safe."

_He's thought a lot about this, _Natalia realized. _Well, he would have! _She took a deep breath; time to put her plan into action. _No going back now._

"What if I told you that no one would have to suffer?"

Toris stopped scrubbing, and proceeded to drop the rag in the bucket before turning to face her.

"Kodėl?" he asked. "Why are you offering us your help?" His face was weary, emotionally drained from the night before, and all the others that preceded it. He was not going to jump blindly into a plot he knew nothing about.

_I need to clinch the deal._ "Because it's a win-win," she told him. "All three of you would become independent, and I get my brother all to myself." The tiny voice in the back of her head chose this moment to speak; _your brother is a rapist._

_Zatyknisia! _She snipped mentally. _I can change him. What do you know, anyway?_

Natalia turned her attention back to Toris, who still seemed wary – and, if possible, slightly crestfallen.

"Well," she asked impatiently. "Are you in?" _Now comes the big moment…_

Toris was silent for a moment, deliberating in his head as he tapped his fingers against the windowsill. Finally, he met her gaze. "…taip."

Natalia grinned, outstretching her right hand. "Shake on it."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia managed to tag along with her new ally on a routine grocery run, the afternoon after her proposal. They'd decided to have all conversations concerning their plan outside of the house; Ivan could have it bugged. This was something Toris had told her after she proposed her idea to him – something that Natalia was berating herself for not realizing. Luckily, though, Ivan hadn't said anything about it; they were in the clear…she hoped.

The reasonably short walk into town was a quiet one. Toris kept trying to instigate conversation, failing miserably again and again. Natalia knew that they should be discussing their plan of action, but to be honest, she didn't feel like talking just yet. The road was too exposed for secretive topics in her opinion.

Once they actually reached the first building that made up the decently sized burg, the pair wasn't able to talk at all; not if they were going to say things like "escape", and "independence". That was a surefire way to attract attention of the unwanted kind.

After subjecting themselves to the complicated, arduous procedure that was called "grocery shopping" in the Soviet Union, they were free to wander the streets. Both of them held a few bags, which were less full of food that someone feeding five nations would've hoped.

"Follow me," Toris had said. So, Natalia did. They were the first direct words he'd spoken to her since getting into town.

The duo walked down a couple of alleyways, and past quite a few storefronts; many were empty and in various states of decimation. The scenery blended together into one, big, unimpressive collage of gray streets and lifeless shops, filled with world-weary people. One thing that did stand out, she was surprised to find, was Toris. The Lithuanian kept going out of his way to help people.

For example: There had been a woman, minding three small children. She had dropped her purse without realizing, and Toris picked it up for her. Then there was an old man struggling with a huge wooden crate, whom Toris also assisted. Lastly, a little boy had almost turned a quiet Monday afternoon into a tragic one by racing heedlessly across a busy street. Toris had grabbed him just in time.

Natalia was confused, and perhaps a little exasperated. Had she been walking _alone_, the Belarusian would've ignored these people. Well, not the little boy with a penchant for running in front of cars. But still, Natalia figured that without those people interrupting her day with _their _problems, she already would have been at wherever the Hell it was Toris was taking her.

_But_, she rationalized. _That's why everyone likes Toris. _It was also why everyone thought she was a cold-hearted bitch without a soul.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Finally, Toris led her out of the maze of backstreets, out onto a tiny promenade, carpeted with grass and littered with trees and other types of vegetation. It bordered a tiny river; stream, or creek, would probably be a more apt description for the expanse of water that was no more than fifteen feet wide.

They settled themselves beneath a tree, whose green leaves were just beginning to grow. The ground was slightly damp, causing Natalia to squirm uncomfortably; Toris didn't seem to mind the overall wetness of the place very much.

"So," he said, leaning back to rest on the heels of his palms. "Where should we get started?" Natalia got right down to business.

"You and your brothers have attempted to escape before, correct?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Tell me how."

"By foot, car - you name it, we've probably tried it…except for train."

Natalia was taken aback by this new piece of information.

"Why not?" It seemed like the easiest option in her opinion.

"It's impossible," Toris shrugged. Now, Natalia was becoming irritated. _Why is it impossible? Is he just writing it off?_

"Well," she snapped haughtily. "Giving me some details on _why_ it's "impossible", might help."

Toris eyed her a moment, scrutinizing her from head to foot. Then, pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed. It seemed that he was thinking of the best way to explain the whole train dilemma. He didn't speak for a few minutes, and Natalia was staring impatiently at him for every single one. Finally, Toris spoke.

"Way back, and I mean _way_, _way_, back, Mr. Braginski took all three of us to the train station in town. He had instructed us not to speak a word before we left the house. We didn't really know where he was taking us, or why, at least until he started introducing us to every single person that worked there. That included ticket operators, conductors, porter, everyone."

Toris was caught up in the memory; his eyes were blank as they stared sightlessly over the river. His voice was flat, and emotionless. Without even sparing a glance in her direction, he continued. He didn't pause or skip a single beat.

"'These people are my cousins,' he lied to them, in that singy-songy tone. 'They are mentally unstable; history of abuse and all that.'"

Toris shook his head, turning to Natalia. "Basically he told them that we were raving, murderous lunatics that would hop on a train and go cause trouble anywhere we wanted to. If Eduard, Raivis, or I ever go to that station _without_ Mr. Braginski, we'll be detained and sent straight back to him; no questions asked."

Natalia frowned, brow furrowed. She couldn't accept that people could be that gullible. "And they believed him?" It was one of the weakest, lamest lies she'd ever heard.

"What else could they do? People know that Mr. Braginski has strong connections with high ranking government officials; why deny him what he wants, when it's just so much easier to say yes?"

The Belarusian was stumped. She hadn't known the full extent of the Baltics' hopeless situation, having so much liberty herself within the union.

"Well," she mused. "Is there any other way to get all of you out of here? Brainstorm – and tell me anything you come up with, even if it's crazy!"

The two discussed many options, but everything they came up with had some sort of inescapable, detrimental flaw. Yes, even the crazy ones. In the end, they just kept running into variations of the same problem.

Walking to their freedom was out of the question; winter may have been over, but there was still the matter of simply distance. Plus, it was extremely slow, and very easy for law enforcement to track them down.

Horseback was feasible, but Ivan didn't own any horses. To steal some would mean pursuit by law enforcement…again. This was all in addition to actually caring for the animals, which would be hard to do on the go.

Then, cars – like _that_ option was even worth considering! Factoring things in like gas money, road blocks, and checkpoints, it was completely impractical. Not to mention that the useless machine would probably fall apart after half a mile; Ivan's government was never known for its investments in everyday consumer products.

"Well, why can't you just declare independence and leave? Or ask for more political and social freedoms!" Natalia exclaimed, angrily. They'd been trying and failing to come up with a solid plan for over an hour.

"Escape plan be damned – leave, protest, do _something_. It worked fine for Elizaveta, Feliks too! Look at all the stuff they got just by making a fuss! If they can do it, why can't you?" _He's making things harder than they need to be._

Toris shook his head. "It was different for them, Miss Natalia. They didn't _live_ with Ivan. They're surrounded by friends ready and willing to help them at any time. Me, Eduard, and Raivis…we're _not_."

He had stressed his statement in a manner of anger and conviction that was very uncharacteristic of the kind nation. Natalia was, yet again, taken aback. An awkward silence followed. She was not used to anyone, particularly the Lithuanian beside her, talking about her brother in such a way. She twisted her fingers into the cool grass; but whether her irritation was because of the manner in which Toris had spoken about Ivan - or the fact that she knew his remarks were true - Natalia was unsure. _I don't know…_

"You know," Toris spoke softly, barely audible over the rustling of the leaves overhead. His voice broke Natalia out of her confusion. "I used to wonder why I was still a country. I wondered why I hadn't just faded away by now."

Natalia stared at him, enthralled with his words by surprise. _Why is he telling me this? _Their conversation was revived from its grave of awkward muteness, but at the same time it had managed to take an unexpectedly personal turn. Nations almost never talked about such things with each other, even if they were very close – and close was something Natalia and Toris were not.

He continued. "I realized that it was my people; my countrymen and women. Their love, pride, and perseverance are the only things keeping me…here, I guess you could say."

His eyes closed. "How can I give up when they're trying so hard to maintain my survival? I have to keep going, no matter how much I want it all to be over. I owe it to them, so I can't leave; Eduard and Raivis too. They wouldn't last a month."

Toris looked old then, Natalia thought. The young, fresh face that presented itself to the world was stripped away, and she caught a glimpse of the man underneath; a man who had been forged by centuries of conflict and self-sacrifice.

She supposed every nation looked that way beneath their barley aged exteriors; herself included. They were adult minds, trapped in the bodies of people who were only just standing on the cusp of adulthood.

_Appearances, it would seem, are only skin deep._

Toris turned to Natalia once more. "Things are going to change soon, I can feel it. But whether those changes are going to be for the better or the worse, I can't tell yet."

She nodded her understanding, once. The experience was familiar to ever nation. The best way Natalia could put the feeling into words would be stress, or anxiety; never waning alertness. It wasn't very pleasant. _I've felt that before, many times._

Together, Toris and Natalia watched some children play, about a hundred yards downstream, by the bank of the river. They looked like they were having quite a bit of fun. At least until their mothers came to drag them back to the familiar safety of sidewalks with grips of iron.

"It's getting late," Toris pointed out. Natalia looked at the sky to validate his statement. The great expanse of blue was started to become stained with pinks and oranges, the sun beginning its daily decent past the horizon.

"I have to get back to the house; Eduard and Raivis need help making dinner." Hoisting himself off the ground, he brushed some dirt from the seat of his pants. "There's no telling what sort of mess they might have gotten themselves into; Raivis, especially."

Toris held an outstretched hand to Natalia, who looked at it with contempt. _I am _not _going to accept his help! I can get up on my own," thanks"._ She did, however, look at it with substantially less contempt than she would have on previous occasions.

The Lithuanian retracted his attempt at chivalry, letting his arm hang loosely at his side before stooping to gather up the groceries. Then, side by side, they walked back to Ivan's house. There was something different between them now. It felt vaguely like…a rapport? An understanding, at least? Whatever it was, Natalia found herself strangely adverse to examining it any further.

_Even though I want to…_

**DICTIONARY:**

**Praleisti **– Miss (It's either Miss, like "Miss Stacy.", or miss, like "I miss you." Feel free to tell me if you know!

**Kodėl **– why

**Taip** – yes

**Zatyknisia **– shut up in Belarusian

**(A/N) **There you go, chapter two. Hope you enjoyed it :D ! Anyway, tell me what you thought by r.e.v.i.e.w.i.n.g…please? I should be updating soon; I'm sick, and it's summer, so I have all the time in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Hetalia, so please, _please_ don't sue? **T3T**

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.

- William Ellery Channing

Over the course of the next week, Natalia made it her duty to pull Toris aside (always to a spot in which electronic bugs would be hard to hide), or tag along with him on errands; whenever the opportunity presented itself. She noticed that her sudden tolerance of the Lithuanian was causing some confusion among the houses other occupants; Eduard and Raivis, specifically.

Ivan on the other hand, just seemed glad that her attention wasn't concentrated completely on him anymore. Natalia began to wonder if the other Baltics were privy to the escape plan, and at the same time crossed her fingers and hoped that her brother stayed just as ignorant as he was now.

"Haven't you told your brothers about the plan yet?" she asked Toris one afternoon; both of them were on the way to town. The pantry needed to be restocked again.

"Ne," he shook his head. Toris then explained to Natalia that the reason he neglected to inform his siblings of their impending escape, was because they'd blown their cover in previous instances by accident. Usually, it was Raivis who'd said the wrong thing, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Natalia groaned and rubbed at her eyes. This was another kink in the already imperfect and unformed plan. _Perfect, just…._ _daskanaly._

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

She was bored again. At the moment she was stretched out on her bed, hands and feet hanging over the edge, staring at the ceiling. Natalia didn't want to read, nor did she want to write a letter. _Who would I even write to, anyway?_ Ivan didn't own a computer or a television. All he had was an old radio, and radio was ridiculously dull to her.

Natalia rolled off the bed, taking the time to smooth out the sheets before going downstairs. The house was quiet; Ivan had locked himself in his study again, after coming home from God-knows-where. Normally, she would've wanted to discuss merging with her brother, but Natalia couldn't really get herself to care at the moment. Strange…maybe she was getting sick or something. _That's unlikely…_

Meandering by the kitchen, she was stopped by the sight of Toris. He was visible through the doorway, flying around about the room; hair held back by a rubber band, apron tied around his waist.

"What's the rush?" she inquired upon entering.

"Good evening, Panele Natalia!" Toris greeted her with a warm smile, then immediately went back to grabbing ingredients and utensils from various spots around the room.

_I really wish he'd stop calling me that. _Natalia glanced around, checking to see if anyone else was there; only the Lithuanian was present.

"Where are Eduard and Raivis?"

"They…"Toris began explaining, scanning a scantily supplied spice rack as he did so. "…are in solitary confinement. In their rooms…"

"Why?"

"Raivis spilled stroganoff all over an antique area rug today," Toris began stirring something in a bowl, adding dashes of his chosen spice every now and then. "Eduard got punished too, just for good measure."

Toris's smile slipped a little. "I should've been there, just in case something worse happened. Instead, I was out…"

_Why is he so hard on himself all the time?_

"It was _not_ your fault," Natalia assured him. "And besides, you had a good reason to be out." They'd been discussing escape plans and independence earlier that day, just as they had many other mornings. And just like all the previous talk-sessions, they had failed to come up with a feasible plan.

"I guess so…" he ceded absently. Toris was chopping vegetables so quickly Natalia was surprised that he hadn't chopped off one of his own fingers yet.

"Slow down, why don't you?" she told him.

"I can't," he poured the bits of carrot and potato into a pot of boiling water. "I'm already behind as it is. I had to do Eduard and Raivis's share of the housework in addition to my own, and some paperwork."

Toris stepped back from the stove, wiping his hands on his apron. He turned to her. "Now I have to finish dinner too, and it's not even half done yet. If it's not done in time…" Buried under his workload, he trailed off, consumed with dinner preparations and all the other things that must've been weighing on him.

Natalia finished his sentence in her head. _If he doesn't get everything done, Ivan won't be very happy._

It was odd…she was actually set at unease. Toris's situation seemed almost calculated, set up so that he was destined to fail. Natalia wouldn't have been shocked to discover that Ivan had premeditated this scenario, thinking of how he could get the Lithuanian to mess up. But, in fact, Toris wouldn't be messing up. He'd be falling into a trap.

Natalia made a decision. She dug through and open drawer full of linens until she was rewarded with an apron exactly like the one Toris was wearing. After tying it to her waist, the Belarusian was ready and willing to help.

"Panele Natalia, what are you doing?" Toris paused in the act of peeling more potatoes, watching Natalia traipse around the kitchen, opening drawers and cabinets to gain access to the things she needed.

"I'm helping. And stop calling me Miss Natalia."

"I can't-"

"I'm helping."

"But you don't-!"

"_I'm helping you_." She growled. Toris backed off quickly, going back to preparing the side dish.

It was kind of fun, all truth be told. Natalia liked to cook; making food alone was always depressing, but with Toris it was different. They even talked a little; talked! And nothing too deep or independence related either; no politics. They shared what they did that day, as well as some advice, tips, and even a couple jokes.

_This is…nice!_

Toris was a lot of the reason that the conversation was tolerable as well. Normally, people didn't want to talk to Natalia. And if they did, they always erred on the side of caution, as if she were a rabid looking for something to bite. Toris was always willing to speak with Natalia, even back when she'd rather have thrown herself under the nearest bus than do so.

The Lithuanian was very upbeat this evening, more so than usual. She couldn't help but feel that her presence and aid had something to do with his boosted moral.

Soon, a little too soon in Natalia's opinion, both of their dishes were either on stove or in the oven. All that was left to do was cleaning up the mess the two nations had left behind…most of it was hers. The pair had only just begun to scrub the counters when they were interrupted.

"Natasha?"

Ivan had appeared out of nowhere, standing in the kitchen doorway. A small, frozen smile decorated his face. His eyes were as hard as the amethysts that shared their color, quietly insane and furious. A vodka bottle was clutched in one of the Russian's hands, almost completely drained.

_Yes, I've ruined your little scheme, _Natalia thought, angry but triumphant at the same time. _I wonder how many other times you've pulled this stunt. _ Ivan took a step forward.

"What is all this?" he asked, sweeping the empty bottle through the air. "Toris, are you making my sister help you?"

_It's not his fault. You're the one who locked Eduard and Raivis away._

Toris almost dropped the sponge he was holding; Natalia could actually _see _the blood drain from his face. It was like he had a sixth sense for when Ivan was truly, deeply angered.

"I –I …" he managed to stutter, before getting cut off.

"Because that is very impolite, making a woman pick up your slack." Her brother shook his head, obviously disappointed.

_I'm not going to stand by and let this happen like last time!_ Natalia chose this moment to intervene. "I offered my own help, Vanya," she said softly, trying to diffuse the tension that was hanging in the air. _Odd; usually I'm the one causing the tension._

"Toris didn't ask for any assistance whatsoever. In fact, he declined, like a…like a _gentleman_." She couldn't help but smile; gentleman seemed like the perfect word to describe the Lithuanian standing before her.

Ivan turned his gaze to her, head cocked slightly to the side; he was confused. She used to think that confused look of his was cute…_but do I still?_ Then he turned to Toris, and Natalia couldn't help thinking that she knew where the person who coined the phrase "if looks could kill" had gotten their inspiration.

Toris was putting on a brave front; that much was obvious. He held his head high, but he was shaking so much it looked like he was channeling Raivis. Suddenly, and completely unexpectedly, Ivan's face lit up like a candle.

"No dinner tonight!" he sang happily, turning to leave. The knuckles on his hand holding the vodka bottle were white from gripping it so tightly.

Natalia and Toris exchanged glances that were part puzzlement, part relief. "W-what?"

"No dinner tonight, for anyone!" And because that's how Ivan wanted it, that's how it was. Everybody went hungry that evening.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Once the untouched food had been put away in the ancient fridge (it wouldn't have been surprising if the decrepit thing was a relic from pre-WWII), Natalia and Toris situated themselves on the rug before the crackling fireplace. The setting sun sent rays of red and orange shooting through the windows. It was going to be a colder than average spring night.

_Funny, that extra wood Ivan got turned out to be of some use after all. _ Natalia soon got hot, and shed her woolen sweater; now she could appreciate the warmth of the flames in her t-shirt.

"Aren't you hot Toris?" The Lithuanian had a sweater on just as thick as the one she'd just discarded off into the dark shadows. "Why don't you take –"

"Ne." Toris shifted and tugged at his sleeves uncomfortably.

Natalia was astounded and slightly insulted by the speed at which he had refused. _It's just a sweater…_but, sensing a delicate topic, she let her flash of irritation blow over and didn't bring it up again.

The two of them were just sitting there, basking in the warm glow that the fire provided, listening to the cassette of classical music, playing softly I the background, which Natalia had put in the player. _Why the Hell did I choose classical? _ Because it was the only thing Ivan had. _Next time I'm over here, I'm bringing by own damn music._

It was very… peaceful? Yes, peaceful! Natalia wasn't used to applying that word to her activities. She sighed heavily, prompting Toris to look at her. "What is it?" he asked.

"Ničoha," she replied. "I was just thinking about how…" the Belarusian faltered; she was not used to sharing such thoughts. And with Toris, no less! "…how peaceful it is tonight," she finished, sheepishly. There were a couple minutes of silence that passed between them. Toris seemed deep in thought, like he was the day beside the river. _Like most days, actually._

"Do you remember, Natalia?" he spoke in a hushed voice. "When we were kids?"

A brief flash of nostalgia for centuries long passed coursed through her. _But those days are just that – passed._ She nodded. "Yes. I didn't hate you as much then."

They both shared a knowing smile; of course Natalia had hated him back then. She had hated Toris starting farther back than she could recall. The Lithuanian knew that.

"We were all forced to grow up so fast…" the flickering light illuminated Toris's face in a way that looked almost supernatural. "I can't even begin to think of all the horrible atrocities I've witnessed over the years, and I can only count the truly happy times I've experienced on one hand."

Toris held up three slender fingers. "The Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth," he began. "Working for Alfred…and whenever I'm with you, Natalia."

His gaze was not piercing, not cold. It was not like her brother's and not like her own. It was warm and full of nothing but kindness. Natalia averted her eyes. She felt guilty, she was surprised to discover. Broken bones and cancelled dates weren't exactly what the Belarusian would call "happy memories". She was starting to feel uncomfortable in her own skin.

_But why am I uncomfortable? I shouldn't care._

Natalia had to change the subject, and quickly; for her own fragile sanity's sake. _I don't know what to say…why is it I never know how to respond to him? _ "I know," she began, uncertain of the direction her own reply would take. "The bad times…there were very many. WWII, for me personally, was pretty…bad." Bad was an understatement. _That was pitiful, but at least it changed the subject…I think._

"It was hard on everybody," Toris agreed. _Definitely_. Natalia would never forget the first time she saw Feliks, finally freed from the clutches of fascism. The sight was harrowing even to her eyes. Not to mention how much all of the other European powers had suffered, including her older brother.

If you looked close enough in cities like Normandy and Volgograd, formerly Stalingrad, you could make out gouges in older buildings. The plaster and brick had been torn away by burning iron and gunpowder; they were scars.

They continued to sit there in silent understanding, the second time that this had occurred. _This is starting to become a habit for me!_ Natalia felt secure, safe; much more so than she had in a long time. She leaned on the couch behind her, letting her head rest on the edge of a cushion, and closing her eyes. _I am so tired…_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia came back to consciousness suddenly. The sky outside was an inky black, and the previously crackling fire had died down to just a few flickering embers. Toris was gone, but someone had picked her up off the floor and laid her on the couch; a pillow was propped beneath her head, a couple of blankets covered her body.

She was willing to bet anything that it had been Toris who had paid her this unnecessary kindness. And speaking of the Lithuanian, those awful noises were coming from upstairs again.

The Belarusian sandwiched her ears between the couch's armrest and the pillow. Maybe if she pressed hard enough, all those conflicting thoughts and feelings would go bother somebody else…

**(A/N)** First off, I would like to give lots of thanks to two anonymous reviewers, **dreamer** and **yolino**, who helped me with the "miss Miss" dilemma. It's appreciated, guys! So, sorry if that chapter was boring, but it was necessary. I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those mushy writers, and well…yeah. I'd also really appreciate some reviews. Those make me very happy, and give me motivation and inspiration :D .

**DICTIONARY:**

**Panele** – Miss in Lithuanian (for real this time!)

**Ne** – no

**Daskanaly – **perfect in Belarusian

**Ničoha – **nothing

And remember, if you find an error in my translations don't hesitate to tell me. :)

**HISTORICAL NOTES:**

There was a time period where Belarus was incorporated into the Grand Duchy of Lithuania (circa 13th century). They weren't very happy about this (Wikipedia).

On 2 February 1386, the Grand Duchy of Lithuania and the Kingdom of Poland were joined in a personal union through a marriage of their rulers. This union set in motion the developments that eventually resulted in the formation of the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth, created in 1569 (Wikipedia).

In 1961, the city of Stalingrad's name was changed to Volgograd ("Volga City") as part of Nikita Khrushchev's program of de-Stalinization (Wikipedia, again).

Relations between Belarus and Lithuania were generally friendly in the early 1990s (some website I found).

That's it for now,

V.o.t.s.


	4. Chapter 4

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER:** Hetalia is not my property. And if it was, I'd be rich.

I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.

- Maya Angelou

Morning came, bright and cheerful, completely oblivious to the events of the previous night. Natalia had stayed on the couch the entire night, even after she'd been woken. The house was quiet. She collected her sweater, which had been folded and placed on the coffee table, then put away the blankets that had kept her warm.

She managed to intercept Eduard and Raivis when they came down to make breakfast. "Where's Toris?" Natalia asked coolly, trying to maintain an air of aloofness. "Isn't he coming down, too?" _Maybe he's not capable…_a slightly sick feeling came over her.

Both Baltics appeared nervous. "Uhh…"Raivis said. "I don't think Toris will be coming down today." Natalia caught Eduard shooting his brother a look that was easily translatable to "shut up!". They both then retreated into the kitchen, leaving Natalia all alone in the main corridor.

_Now what?_

She was, in fact, about to follow them when Ivan appeared at the top of the stairs. "Dobroe utro, Natasha," he greeted her. Her brother was clearly in a much better mood than he was yesterday evening. Natalia had a pretty good idea of why that would be.

_How should I react? Angry, horrified, or just like always? _"Good morning, Vanya." _Just like always, then._

"What are you in the mood for? Eduard and Raivis will make it for you," Ivan was now standing in front of her, at the foot of the stairs.

Suddenly, the Belarusian had an idea. "Actually, I'm not hungry," she lied, gripping her sweater closer to her chest. "I think I'm going to take a quick bath; you know, get ready for the day."

Ivan blinked slowly, then nodded. "Alright; be fast, da? The hot water has been unreliable as of late."

Natalia brushed past her brother, forcing herself not to walk so quickly. She could feel Ivan's eyes following her until she shut her bedroom door. She made a beeline for the bathroom in her quarters, and turned the water on in the tub. It would seem like she was taking a bath, like she said, but it would also help to cover any extraneous noises she didn't want Ivan to hear.

Natalia checked Toris's room first; it seemed like the most logical option. _Yeah, to an idyjot, _she berated. _Why did I think he'd be in here?_ His bed was neatly made – obviously not slept in. She even peeked in Raivis and Eduard's rooms to be on the safe side. _You know where he is, stop fooling around._

Eventually, there was just one door left to open, one last room to check; Ivan's. Toris had to be in there - where else could he possibly be? Taking a deep breath, Natalia braved herself for whatever might be on the other side. Slowly, she opened the oaken door.

A metallic smell hung heavily in the air. An innocent looking leather strap was perched on the dresser, but the blood caking its surface belied the strap's unassuming appearance. And lying on the bed, tangled in a nest of soiled sheets, was Toris.

_Oh…!_

He was face down in the covers, his freshly lacerated back openly exposed. Old, faded scars intermingled with newer ones. And on top of all those were bright red strips of raw flesh. Natalia couldn't tell how deep they were from where she was standing, but they looked bad.

"Toris?" her voice was hushed, tentative. She crept around the bedding and odd bits of clothing that had been strewn across the floor; a pillow here, sock or shirt there.

She knelt by the Lithuanian's head. His eyes were blank, glassy; unseeing. His face was slack and his palms faced the ceiling. "Toris," Natalia spoke again. "_Toris_!"

No reply. Was he even breathing?_ Dy, _Natalia was happy to discover. _He's breathing! _But he was still completely unresponsive. She didn't dare touch him, for fear of injuring him more.

"Toris, you're frightening me. Say _something_!" It was getting difficult to maintain her quiet, placid tone. _Stay calm, don't freak out…_

Silence.

Natalia got up to leave; Toris wasn't responding to anything, and she was starting to lose her handle on her fear. She couldn't help him if she didn't know what he needed, or if she had a mental meltdown. _I really have to turn the water off in the bathtub, anyway..._

Then, she heard it; very, very faintly.

"Nata…Natalia…"

Toris; his voice was ragged and barely audible. It could've been because of thirst, or the new bruises encircling his windpipe. Natalia rushed back to the bedside. "Toris! I don't know what….I-Ivan did this?" _Stupid question_, she thought. _Of course it was Ivan! _But if Toris shared her sentiments it was not abundantly clear. The Lithuanian just nodded his head, almost imperceptibly.

"He was waiting for me…," Toris paused to recover. "…in my room, after I…left you downstairs." It was a tremendous effort for him to speak even that much.

Natalia's mind was going a mile a minute, but she couldn't get herself to say anything. It was like her brain wasn't connected to her mouth anymore.

"I'm sorry, Natalia." The Belarusian found her voice after he said that. _WHAT?_

"What? Why are you saying that?" it came out harsher than she'd meant to. _He shouldn't be the one apologizing._ Her insides squirmed uncomfortably, something they had only taken to doing in the past few weeks.

"Because I'm the one…standing between you and your brother…but, I want you to know…that it's…not intentional."

Natalia gripped his arm, as gently as possible. "Spynić. Stop apologizing, just _look_ at you!" The Lithuanian was in a state worse than she'd ever seen him. In addition to the bruises and deep lacerations, there was a black eye, coupled with a split and swollen lip. _And he's the one apologizing! Maybe if I hadn't intervened in the kitchen yesterday…niama, it would've happened nonetheless._

She wasn't even going to think about what kind of damage might be lying underneath the stained covers; Natalia wouldn't allow herself. This boy, no, this _man_, had decided that spending time with her was enough of a reward to withstand what she saw before her as a result. _And I'm not even that interesting!_

_Now, don't get full of yourself,_ she chided. _It's not like he had a choice. _Well maybe not, but still. Natalia was suddenly startled out of her pensive trance by her brother's voice.

"Natasha, how long are you going to keep the water running? I do not want to have my floors ruined, da?" He was calling her from the downstairs, not upstairs. Thank God for small miracles.

Even still, Natalia managed to whisper a few Belarusian curses under her breath before assuring Toris. "I have to go downstairs, just until the others finish eating. Then as soon as Ivan's gone, I'll come back up and help you."

The injured nation gave a weak nod, closing his eyes; he was completely and utterly exhausted. Natalia didn't want to leave, but she had to. Staying would mean a lot of awkward explanations to Ivan on her part and, most likely, more pain for Toris.

She waited until she was in her bathroom before answering her brother. "I'm almost done, Vanya." _I have to look like I took a bath!_ Her excuse for missing breakfast wouldn't merit belief for very long if she went downstairs looking dry.

Turning the water off, Natalia dunked her head in the almost-overflowing tub. It was cold – she hadn't been paying attention to which tap was turned when drawing the bath; she had been too focused on finding Toris. _Either that, or water heater isn't working, like Ivan said_

Gasping and sputtering, Natalia resurfaced, snatching a threadbare towel from a rack beside the tub. She rubbed the slightly scratchy material over her hair and skin furiously. _I have to hurry up! _She pulled the tub's plug, letting the ice water drain out.

Finally, a quick change of clothes just about completed her brisk routine. The clothes from the previous night were exchanged for another sturdy sweater and an old pair of jeans – almost identical to her previous outfit. It wasn't Natalia's most glamorous look, no. But it was better than nothing.

After running a brush through her damp mane of pale blonde hair, Natalia was ready to go face her brother. The entire hasty morning ritual had probably taken less than three minutes.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Breakfast was tense, to say the least. Eduard and Raivis were huddled nervously on the side of the table facing Ivan, barely even touching what remained of their food. They were being extra quiet, extra wary – Toris wasn't there to diffuse possible catastrophes.

Natalia sat on the wayside, pretending to read the newspaper. She was waiting, patiently for once, until the other nations finished their half-eaten meals. The Belarusian truly wasn't hungry; the sight of Toris had the idea of breakfast unappealing. _How could I sit here and eat while he's lying upstairs like that?_

Ivan was chatting about nonsensical things. It seemed the Russian had noticed his sister's withdrawn manner (more so than usual) that morning, and was actually trying to start and maintain a conversation. But for what reason, Natalia was clueless. She did, however, realize the irony of the situation. _Funny, usually it's the other way around. My words used to fall on deaf ears, just as his do now._

Natalia rebuffed each query with one worded affirmations and denials or clipped statements, until her brother became bored with the attempts. It didn't take him very long to lose interest, thankfully.

"I'm flying to Zheneva with my boss today," Ivan said casually, as if he had made an offhand comment about the price of fruit, or the weather. This caught Natalia's attention.

"Ženieva, Switzerland? You're going to Vash's?" _The only time someone goes to Vash's is for a U.N. meeting…_

"Da," Ivan twirled a fork in his fingers, more focused on the utensil than his sister. "They want to talk with me about the Union. Elizaveta and Feliks are enjoying their liberties," he set the fork down on the table. "Some people are saying that the Union isn't as strong as it used to be, that it is obsolete and should be dismantled."

Ivan smiled at her. "But they are just jealous, da? They want to be members, too." She nodded, playing the role of agreeable younger sibling. _Do I still want to be a member? _A few weeks ago, her answer would have been a definite, firm "dy".

Out of the corner of her eye, Natalia saw the two Baltics try to unsuccessfully suppress shudders. _They want out of the Union, that's obvious._ Luckily for Eduard and Raivis, Ivan was too busy gathering up some official looking papers and his coat to notice.

"If the weather stays nice, and the meeting goes quickly, I might be back tomorrow evening…late, I think."

_This is sudden; lucky, too! _If Ivan was gone, it would make Natalia's task of aiding Toris much, much easier.

A car horn sounded faintly from the front of the house.

"Ah! That would be my ride to the train station." Ivan grabbed a small suitcase from its hiding spot underneath his chair.

"Train station?" Raivis's face was scrunched up in bewilderment; he sounded genuinely confused. "I thought you said you were flying, Mr. Braginski."

Natalia felt the table shudder, just a little, as Eduard kicked his brother in the shin.

Ivan just smiled, and not very menacingly either. "I have to take the train to get to the airport. You should know that, Raivis." He turned to Natalia. "See you soon, Natasha." He waved goodbye before leaving, the front door slamming shut with a sense of finality. Eduard and Raivis immediately relaxed; Ivan's absence lightened the household's mood considerably.

Natalia listened to the sound of crunching gravel as the car pulled away. _He's really gone…it's almost too easy!_

The two Baltics started collecting dishes – or, more accurately, Eduard collected the dishes and Raivis spotted him in case any were dropped. The plates, cups, and serving glasses were placed into the sink, which was filled halfway with soapy water.

"Here," she said, taking some of the silverware still on the table in her hands. "Let me help you." _I helped Toris last night, so I should help these guys too._

The two brothers were wary at first, Eduard especially. But, gradually, the atmosphere in the kitchen relaxed. The fact that Ivan was speeding away to another country's home helped infinitely.

Eduard scrubbed, Natalia rinsed, and Raivis dried. They didn't talk, though. Apparently, Toris's siblings were still a little afraid of the Belarusian. When they were finished putting the now-sparkling cutlery and china away, Raivis thanked her.

"Paldies, Jaunkundze Natalia." The Latvian was in awe – she'd never given a rat's ass about them before, why the sudden charity?

Natalia shrugged. "Nie turbujciesia pra heta," she told them. _Don't worry about it…_

"I told Toris I'd spend some time with him today," she said, turning to the exit. "You don't need to interrupt us." Raivis might not pick up on her meaning, but Eduard would get it. Natalia was going to help Toris, and they weren't needed.

Were the circumstances changed, she was certain that the dumbstruck expressions on the Baltic's faces would've been hilarious.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Toris…?" Natalia pushed Ivan's door open for the second time that morning. "I'm back."

His eyes flickered open. Toris was lying in the exact same position he'd been in when she left. He tried to summon something that looked like a smile, but it resembled a grimace of pain instead. In fact, it might have actually _been_ a grimace of pain.

"You don't have to worry about being quiet," she informed him. "Ivan just left for Ženieva twenty minutes ago. He should be gone until tomorrow evening," she paused. "…at least, that's what he said."

As Natalia said this, she watched Toris struggle to shrug off the sheets that were glued to his back and shoulders with dried blood. The Belarusian felt pity for him, and more than the usual twinge. She moved to give him her assistance –

"Palaukti!" he said, suddenly. Natalia froze, her fingers only just grasping the corner of the once pristine covers.

Toris blushed, embarrassed. "I-I…I'm not…clothed," he whispered into the bedspread.

_Oh…_she should have figured. Mentally, Natalia berated herself. _I. Am. An. Idyjot._ But she had to find _some_ way to help the Lithuanian; he might get sick or something, if he wasn't treated quickly. A sick nation was never any fun to deal with.

"Can you roll over?" she asked him.

"I think so. But, the sheet…it's stuck to me…"

Natalia bit her lip in frustration. _Damn…_this was going to be painful for the both of them, albeit, in vastly different ways.

"Okay," she began. "I think you're gonna have to roll over, anyway." Toris's eyes widened, and she could almost read the thoughts running around his head behind them – roll over? Doesn't she know what that will feel like?

"It'll hurt a bit," she admitted. _It'll hurt A LOT, you mean…_"But that's what you need to do if you don't want me to see your…you know…"

Toris nodded; he understood, but he wasn't happy. Natalia began to slowly peel the sheet away from his lacerated flesh, her gaze turned to a distant corner of the room. His entire body was tensed, and he ground his teeth to keep from crying out. She couldn't even begin to imagine how much pain Toris was feeling right then.

"Now, roll over! Quick!"

The Lithuanian did so, but not without difficulty. He couldn't keep a small whimper of agony from escaping his lips. His eyes were screwed shut tightly, and his jaw clenched. Natalia worked fast; she wrapped the sheet around Toris's waist as best she could, with him lying down and all. She didn't do a half bad job, in her opinion.

"Help me to stand you up," she instructed. "You're heavy, and we have to go all the way to my bathroom." _That's the most private place in the house right now…_Toris pressed his lips together as Natalia looped one arm underneath his shoulders, and lifted.

There was no shortage of whimpers and muffled cries as they made their way into the hall. Toris's wounds were beginning to bleed again; rivulets of crimson ran down his sides, getting soaked up by the makeshift bed sheet-pants. _Just a little further Toris…_The pair took small steps, slowly getting closer and closer to Natalia's bathroom.

When Toris finally stepped onto the cold, white tile floor of their destination, he threw up; right there. At least it wasn't on the carpet. _It's an easy clean up,_ Natalia told herself.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, or at least something that sounded like it. Natalia waved him off, motioning that he should sit on the toilet before he passed out. She drew the bath; no soaps or perfumes were added to the water.

The Belarusian held her wrist under the faucet, making sure that what was coming out wasn't too hot or too cold. It was a few degrees over room temperature; lukewarm. _Perfect!_

Natalia withdrew her hand, shaking it dry as she did so. She pointed at the tub. "It's ready." Toris eyed the porcelain basin warily.

"Well?" She was trying to keep from getting too testy. _I didn't drag you all the way to my bathtub just so you could stare at it._

"Atsiprašau," Toris apologized. "I just need a moment. Can you…turn around? Prašom?" After all he'd said to her, after all Natalia had done, he was still fiercely adamant about maintaining his privacy.

_I can see why, though. He probably likes to control it when he can._ Then another thought struck her, an alarming one. "What if you pass out while my back is turned?" her unexpected words hung in the air.

"What?"

Natalia flushed furiously and stared at her feet. _Damn it!_

"That's not going to happen, Natalia. Don't worry."

"Well, it's just that…"she didn't know what to say. "…I'd feel better if I was…making sure…" _I sound like a complete putc!_

Against all odds, Toris smiled. Did he find her stammering endearing? _What's he so happy about? I'm not cute when I stammer, I look like an idyjot!_

Natalia turned and faced the wall, crossing her arms across her chest. "Just hurry and get in. I don't want to stare at this _niamy _wall any longer than I have too."

There was the sound of soft footsteps on tile, a rustling sheet, and the squeaky slide of bare skin against a smooth surface. The latter was followed by a quiet splash. "You can look now, Natalia," the Lithuanian informed her, his voice tight with physical agony.

She did so, and found that Toris had situated himself in the middle of the tub, being very careful not to let his back touch anything but the water; even the act of sitting seemed to cause him extreme discomfort.

"Do you need anything?"

"No," he shook his head. Toris reached for a wash cloth, vigilant about keeping the lower half of his body concealed by the side of the tub while doing so.

Natalia watched as Toris attempted to clean his battered body – it was obviously very hard to do, and coupled with the fact that he couldn't move without torturing himself, it was impossible. Each time he brushed a bruise or water seeped into an open wound, Toris hissed through his teeth and closed his eyes.

He would stay frozen like that for minutes on end, waiting for the pain to subside before starting all over again. Natalia's pity grew, and eventually came to a head when the Lithuanian started to wash his shoulders and back. Not only was the process painful and intense, but he couldn't even reach the areas that needed the most attention.

So, being the impulsive young woman that she was, Natalia strode across the room, heedless of privacy and etiquette.

"Wha-?" Toris began to stammer, covering himself up with his hands.

"You lied," she said, peering down at him through her eyelashes. "You do need something – my help."

"But…"

Natalia grabbed a fresh washcloth from the rack, knelt by the side of the tub, and dipped the terrycloth rag in the lukewarm water. Then, carefully, she laid it on Toris's shoulder. He gritted his teeth and tensed every muscle in his body, but, slowly, Toris relaxed.

She did the same thing on his other shoulder, eliciting an almost identical reaction on the Lithuanian's part.

"That's…_helping_…?" he gasped; an attempt at humor. Natalia smiled. "Quiet. I'm going to brush your hair – it's nasty."

She got up and retrieved a brush that was lying beside the sink; in fact, it was the very same one that she had used to untangle her own hair earlier that morning. Upon returning to Toris's side, Natalia immediately set to work.

It wasn't so much that his hair was tangled – it was what was dried in it that made the task so difficult. Judging by appearance alone, it was most likely blood and semen that made Toris's brown hair stick in clumps.

_Blood and semen…_she tried to convince herself there were worse combinations as she dragged the brush through a particularly nasty patch. Natalia winced, and she wasn't even the one losing chunks of their hair. _It doesn't hurt him?_ He probably didn't even notice, given all the other pains he was dealing with at the moment.

Natalia noticed that, when his chestnut locks were brushed away from the back of his neck, there were scars there, too. They were old and faded, but there nonetheless.

A question rose to the forefront of her mind. "Your brothers…are they like this, too?"

Toris nodded. "Yes, but not as bad. I wasn't there, sometimes. I…I regret that I couldn't protect them." His voice was filled with shame.

"Did Ivan…you know…?"

Toris answered quickly. "Ne! Ne, only me, I'm sure of it…" He repeated it again, quietly. "I'm sure of it…" It sounded like a self-assurance – possibly a denial. "I'm sure of it…"

The two nations lapsed into silence, and Natalia again turned her attention to Toris's scars and wounds. They were all over; some even wrapped around the upper parts of his arms and chest. There were thin ones, thick ones, dark ones, light ones.

_There are so many…_Natalia herself had a few scars – every nation did. Their bodies were mutilated by wars, genocide, famine, and political upheaval. But never before had she seen someone whose body was marked quite like Toris's.

She traced a thin scar that started at his shoulder blade, and extended diagonally towards his lower back. Under her touch the Lithuanian stiffened, and not because of the pain, but because of something completely different.

"So many…"Natalia whispered. Toris nodded slowly. His face wasn't visible to her.

"Why does he do this too?" she asked aloud. "What about last time? You weren't hurt like this then."

Toris began to speak, answering her question. "Last time, I wasn't beaten," his voice was still hoarse. "…because Mr. Braginski wasn't mad at me; he was angry with Raivis. He…he says he doesn't like to hurt me like this…"

"And he was angry with you last night because…?" _But I think I already know the answer._

Toris's shoulders heaved as he sighed. "Last night," he began. "Mr. Braginski was angry with me because I was spending time with you, more often than usual. He didn't…_dosen't_ like that. Also, you kind of messed with his plan to make me slip up making dinner; since you're his seselė, he couldn't take that anger out on you."

_I'm part of the reason Ivan did this? _Natalia felt sick, but at the same time, a little jealous. That small pang of jealousy added to the myriad of feelings and thoughts she was being torn every which way by. She knew that Ivan's anger wasn't caused by Natalia's interest in Toris, but because of Toris's interest in her.

She felt guilty too, as much she hated to admit it. If Natalia hadn't been hanging around with Toris as much as she had, maybe the Lithuanian wouldn't be in the broken state he was now.

"I see," the Belarusian said curtly, and the conversation was over.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Finally, after about another half hour spent in the bathtub, Toris was clean. His hair was brushed and washed, the lacerations scattered across his backside had been tended to, and the dried blood coating his skin had been soaked and scrubbed away.

Natalia helped him out of the water carefully, keeping her eyes closed until he had a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Stay here; I'll go get the bandages and antiseptic," Natalia left Toris lying, face down, on her bed while she went to the linen closet to retrieve the needed first-aid materials.

After digging through countless towels and mate-less socks - _How did those get in here?_ - Natalia finally found what she was looking for; rubbing alcohol and gauze bandages. Some medical tape, too.

She would have thought that such basic first aid materials would have been easier to access, especially when it seemed like they'd be needed so frequently. The Belarusian made sure to grab another towel before going back.

When Natalia got back to her room, Toris was standing over by the desk, staring out of the window at the gray, rainy spring sky, and gripping the back of a chair. His knuckles were white.

"Toris?" the Lithuanian turned. "I have the stuff. How do you want to do this?" There was a pause while he thought for a moment. "Sitting would be best, I think." he decided. Natalia nodded as he took a seat in the chair that his hands had been clutching at only moments earlier.

She made her way over to him, unscrewing the cap of the rubbing alcohol while doing so. "This is going to burn a bit..."she wasn't sure, but Natalia could have sworn that Toris chuckled darkly, barely even audible, when she said that.

Natalia quickly pressed the alcohol soaked towel on a huge gash that cut across his shoulder. Toris was sucking air through his teeth, and he was gripping the desk so hard his arms were beginning to shake. They repeated this process at least a dozen more times; Natalia wasn't keeping track. She didn't want to.

Once that was done and over with, she wrapped two entire roles of gauze around his shoulders, arms, and back; a little surgical tape made sure the dressings stayed on Toris's body.

Then Natalia helped him to his room, and subsequently pulled a shirt over his head because he wasn't able. Toris made her turn away again, before he'd even consider taking off the towel that had been serving dutifully to keep him covered these past twenty minutes.

There was the sound of a drawer sliding open and closed, and the rustle of skin on fabric. Natalia turned to find Toris fully clothed, just as she expected him to be.

She pulled back the covers on his bed for him, and after watching Toris get comfortable -back facing the ceiling again- covered him up to his shoulders with the clean, crisp quilts and covers.

"If you need anything, just call."

"Alright."

"I'll be back with lunch for you later. How's blini sound?" Technically, blini was a breakfast food. But they had leftovers from that morning, and Natalia knew that Toris liked them.

Toris nodded, his eyes half lidded. The exhaustion and trauma of his wounds, coupled with the events from the night before were finally catching all the way up with him. _Time for me to go…_

Natalia spun on her heel, making a beeline for the door.

"Natalia?" she stopped. "Thank you." The Lithuanian may have been tired, but the gratitude he felt for her at that moment was obvious on his face and in his voice.

What did she have to do now? _Quickly! _Natalia nodded once and practically bolted from the room. She hurried back to the safety and familiarity of her bed, burying herself alive inside the warm linens.

The whispervoices were back, contradicting everything that she used to stand for and believe in - everything that made her "Bielaruś." If Natalia clapped her hands over her ears, or read a book, perhaps, she'd stop hearing the little voice that rose above all the others, crying a chant of: _You can't change your brother. Why are you lying to yourself? Just look at the facts, they're obvious – he'll never love you the way you want him to. Move on, _

Over and over again, it repeated itself, reciting every fear and every flaw and every fault.

And Natalia answered back with her own chant – _shutupshutupshutup!_

It was so much easier to be a creature of habit than one of change.

**(A/N)** Today my fourteen-year-old brother shared with me that he ships Pru chell hung liech bel krain arus . That's Prussia, with all the European girl countries + Seychelles…at the same time. Needless to say, I laughed, because it seemed sooo Gilbert! Brothers are great to have, aren't they?

I'm sorry it took me longer than usual to update, but it was a longer than usual chapter! Plus, life has been throwing me all the curveballs lately and crap. Man, this was a hard chapter to write…(mentally and physically) :P It really sucks to type on a laptop without a mouse (my dad took it back because it was his…blah).

I think I'm going to go eat some ice cream and watch a movie :)

**DICTIONARY: (lots of new words, this chappie)**

**Dobroe utro – **good morning in Russian

**Da – **yes

**Zheneva – **Geneva (isn't cool how cities have different names in other languages?)

**Idyjot – **idiot in Belarusian

**Spynić – **stop it

**Niama – **yes

**Ženieva – **Geneva

**Nie turbujciesia pra heta – **Don't worry about it

**Putc – **putz

**Niamy – **dumb

**Pladies – **thank you in Latvian

**Jaunkundze – **Miss (I researched – in depth – this time; hope it's right!)

**Palaukti – **wait in Lithuanian

**Atsiprašau – **sorry

**Prašom – **please

**Ne – **no

**Seselė – **little sister

**HISTORICAL NOTES/ OTHER NOTES: **

Hungary and Poland were two of a handful of countries that toppled their communist regimes; whether it was though political means or protests (usually a combination), they gained more freedoms for their people i.e., having other political parties in charge other than the Communist Party. These "liberations" made other countries call for the restructuring of the Soviet Union – the U.S.S.R. never really recovered from the loss of so many satellite nations, East Germany in particular. They never had that much power and sway again. The Baltics protested too, Russia just didn't seem to want to let go of any of them (Lithuania in particular).

The United Nations headquarters are in Geneva, Switzerland (makes sense, right?). There is also one in New York (not so much sense).

Blini are kinda like pancakes, but with fruit or sour cream instead of maple syrup :P (yum)!

So, if you've read all this extra stuff at the bottom, kudos to you, my friend. Go eat ice cream or something as a reward ;)

-V.o.t.s.


	5. Chapter 5

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: **Hetalia is not my property. So don't sue me, because all I have is…*checks wallet* …eighty-five cents and a coupon for a free gelato.

To be a hero or a heroine, one must give an order to oneself.

- Simone Weil

Around dinnertime that evening Natalia managed to gather up what was left of her sanity, and go to the kitchen for food. Eduard and Raivis were not yet present by their usual stations - the sink and the stove. They were probably enjoying not having to put dinner on the table at exactly seven o'clock, and were spending some more time on chores – maybe they were even doing something fun.

Natalia made a simple, easy meal - two servings of potato zrazy. The first was set on the table, and the other she arranged on a serving tray. Taking great care not to spill anything or stumble, the Belarusian slowly went up the steps. She opened Toris's door with no small effort; it was a hard thing to do when carrying a loaded, silver platter with both of your hands.

"Toris, I brought you some food..."

There was no friendly welcome, no sound of thanks. The Lithuanian was still asleep, hours after she had put him to bed.

He was still on his stomach; he wouldn't be able to sleep at all if he wasn't. Brown hair was fanned across his pillow, and the sound of soft breathing filled the room.

_Should I wake him up?_ Which was more important; sleep, or eating? After a moment of deliberation, Natalia decided: _I should let him rest - he can eat once he wakes up._

Natalia placed the food on a bedside table, so it would be within easy grabbing distance for him. _He looks so peaceful like that._ But peaceful, she knew, was the polar opposite of what was under his exterior – the real Toris. Extremely kind, yes, but he was tired and hurting as well. This was the man she was beginning to know.

_How does he stand it? If I were in his situation..._Natalia had no idea. She was extremely grateful that she didn't.

Footsteps were audible from the hallway.

_Shit!_ Natalia left the room as quickly as she could, trying to refrain from making too much noise. _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! _She couldn't really explain to herself _why _she didn't want anyone to find her in Toris's room – the Belarusian just knew that she'd be very embarrassed if they did.

But, of course, her timing was wrong. Horribly wrong. _I should've just stayed in his room!_

Raivis was standing in the middle of the hallway, frozen - a pile of folded clothes held in his arms. His eyes were opened wide; he obviously hadn't been expecting to see his bosses youngest sister come out of his oldest brother's room. Natalia stared right back.

"Jaunkundze Natalia? Can I get you anything?" he was getting over his initial shock, and was starting to smile at her. Apparently the Latvian was less wary of Natalia now, after her show of kindness that morning for him and his older brothers.

Natalia glared at the small teen out of habit; she didn't _want_ to come across as intimidating – at least, not anymore. Not really.

But she was still humiliated, and intimidation was the only way she knew how to defend herself in uncomfortable situations. What was Raivis thinking that she'd been doing in there? The Belarusian could feel her forced expression of malice collapsing into one of abashment.

"Niama." she blurted, answering Raivis's kindly-stated question in the negative.

And with that being said she hurried down the hall, away from sleeping victims and quizzical kid brothers. Back in her bedroom bed nest, the door was locked and firmly shut. She welcomed the familiar, private space as a friend. Natalia didn't feel like talking or listening to anyone for the second time that day.

_This voice in my head is beginning to be a problem._

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ivan got back at exactly three in the morning, an entire day later. Natalia was lying awake in her bed. She listened to the Russians footsteps, heavy on the old stairs. He paused in front of Toris's room. Natalia could have sworn that her heart completely stopped.

_Niama! He wouldn't, he couldn't!_ – but it sputtered to life again once her brother continued down the hall until he reached his own room.

Natalia knew that he'd find his sheets clean, his clothes put in their proper place, and all the gory nastiness scrubbed painstakingly away. She had watched Eduard and Raivis do so earlier, through a sliver of her open doorway.

Toris was not at breakfast the next morning. He did not come down for lunch, and he was not present for dinner. He was still in his bed, sleeping off the pain and – hopefully – speeding up the healing process.

Natalia managed to sneak the Lithuanian some food when Ivan went out to perform errands on the government's behalf, or locked himself in his office to fill out paperwork.

Toris _was_ getting better, but very slowly - by a nation's standards, at the very least. If Natalia had been in his place she would have healed five times over already. In Toris's case, all of his raw wounds had only just formed into scabs, and the bruises were just about faded away. Thankfully, that also meant they'd cause him less pain.

When she gave him dinner, Toris was sleeping again, but the plate of food that had been left for him at lunchtime was completely clean. Natalia picked it up, and set down the cepallinai that she made in its place. She hoped the cepallinai wasn't too bad - it was the first time shed ever made it. _He's getting better, now he just needs to stay awake for more than ten minutes!_

The Belarusian descended the steps two at a time; Natalia needed answers – answers that might quell the voices in her head. And in order to get those answers, she would have to confront the main source of her mental qualms – Ivan.

She waltzed into the parlor, head held high. Ivan was sprawled on an antique velvet couch, a well-broken-in book penned by Stalin in his hands. Natalia parked herself directly in front of him, feet spread and arms by her side.

"Vanya, I want to take a walk." Firm, and demanding – that was the tone she accomplished.

The Russian looked up from his reading, eyebrows raised. The lower half of his face was still hidden by the novel. "A walk, Natasha?"

"Dy," she nodded.

"But –" Ivan began to protest.

_Niama! No buts._ Natalia was determined to get out what she had to say, even if it meant interrupting her older Brother.

"I haven't seen you almost at all," Natalia complained. "You've either been gone on political business, locked in your study, or just outside doing whatever you wanted - _alone._" She made sure to stress the last word with extra (false) lament.

"Natalia I –"

She plowed on.

"And that's why I want to take a walk with you." She continued. "I only have so many days before I need to return to my own home, and one of the only reasons I ever come to your house is so that I can spend time with _you_ - my starejšy brat."

Ivan seemed to weigh his options, silently deliberating in his head; one finger tapped the book cover as he set it on the coffee-table. Natalia saw two possible outcomes - one, he could agree with her request, and leave without a fuss. Two, he could refuse.

Were the second to occur, she'd drag him out the front door, and force him to walk with her. _Respect for your older siblings be damned._

Ivan made his decision, standing up and stretching his arms. "I'll get our coats," he said.

Natalia smiled.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ivan and Natalia were slowly walking down the cracked, rural road. They'd already skirted the edges of the nearby town, the very same where she and Toris went shopping, and dodged some old jalopies, slowly putt-puttering to their destinations.

Ivan had not only brought their coats, but also a generously sized bottle of vodka. Natalia had refused when he offered, and he'd just shrugged, as if to say "More for me."

She studied her brother, watching as he steadily became more and more inebriated. _He must have already had some drinks before we left_, she realized. One bottle of vodka wasn't anywhere near enough to get Ivan this drunk.

_His being drunk has an upside – it'll be harder for him to remember the details of this conversation._

They were slowly but steadily approaching the house's driveway. If Natalia wanted those answers, she was going to have to ask her questions quickly.

Now was the tricky part. Ivan typically experienced two different extremes while intoxicated; open and unyielding, or aggressive and violent. He wouldn't get rough with his own sister, of course, but he certainly wouldn't give Natalia what she needed to know should he stray down the path of sullenness.

She needed to start on an easy topic, and then gently slide into her area of query.

"Vanya, I want to talk about Irina." Well, easi-_er _.

The Russian slowly lifted his head, lowering the vodka from his lips. The mention of their older sister had slightly revived him from his drunken daze. Natalia held her breath; now was the moment of uncertainty - would he take the bait, or just leave her hanging?

The suspense and anxiety was murder. _I'm Natalia Arlovskya. I don't get anxious!_

The suspense was broken and the anxiety abated when Ivan nodded his head. "Alright," he took a swig from the vodka bottle. "Let's talk about Irunya."

Natalia felt a rush of relief. _Really? Natalia Arlovskya doesn't get anxious? Right!_

"I feel like she's been ignoring us lately." She made sure that her expression and tone were just the right mix of concerned, perturbed, and a little bit angry.

Ivan nodded again. "Da - I feel the same. Our sister has not been herself these past couple months…years, even." There was a slur on every word he spoke.

"She won't talk to me anymore," Natalia told him. "She won't answer my calls, or respond to my letters. I visited her a while back, and she told me to leave because she had company."

Ivan shook the now empty vodka bottle, stared at it wistfully for a moment, and then hurled it off into the trees.

"Da. She has also done the same to me. I am thinking that the other nations have been filling her head with lies about the Union. She has been hanging around with other members of the U.N., and I don't like it."

_Now!_ Now would be the time to transition topics. _Here goes…_

"Are you going to punish her?" Natalia asked, quietly. Ivan froze.

"What was that?"

Natalia could feel her face slightly reddening, a small, hot ball of anger forming in her gut. "Are you going to whip her? Force yourself onto her?"

Ivan's normally pale face colored. She was stepping into the danger zone. He had halted, right in the middle of the empty road.

"_Natalia_!" he said sharply, startled and shocked into foregoing her pet name. "Irina is my older sister- _our_ sister! How can you say things like that? I would _never_ - !"

"I was just wondering…" Natalia assumed an air of innocence. "I guess I'm kind of curious about why you treat the Baltics the way you do." _Come on…answer me!_

Ivan's visage began to return to normal. He resumed walking again, falling back into his drunken stumble. But he was still looking at Natalia cautiously, unsure what she was going to ask next, or how he should answer her question.

_"_Natalia, the world is a very dangerous place," he began, gaze focused on an unseen point in the distance. "If I were to let the Baltics go free, other, stronger nations would take advantage of them."

_They're stronger than you think._

"I protect them, da?" he continued, tongue loosened by alcohol. "I give them - and you too for that matter - food, shelter, jobs..." Ivan trailed off. His eyes darkened.

"And then when they try to leave me," his voice lowered to a whisper. "That's when I need to show them how wrong they were….that they're nothing without me. Each of them would be swept off the map in an instant."

Natalia felt a chill rattle her bones - it nothing to do with the chilly evening air.

She cleared her throat, feeling the words she was about to say in her mouth - tasting them. Nothing would happen to Natalia if she were to speak them, of course, but Toris might suffer.

"What about Toris? I haven't seen you punish Eduard or Raivis as severely as him. Is he stupid? Does he not work hard enough? Does he actually think that he'd be better off not involved in the Union?"

There was an uncertain moment, where the Belarusian was unsure whether or not her brother would reply. _He might just decide to walk the rest of the way home in silence..._

"Nyet, nyet, and da," Ivan answered, surprising her. "Toris is not stupid, and he works very hard."

Natalia wasn't sure, but there might have been a double meaning laced into those words, judging by the tone in which they were spoken.

"But Toris would love to leave the union - da, his brothers too," Ivan was taking her silence for shock. "One thing i don't understand, though, is why he always sticks his neck out for those two. I mean, technically none of them are actually related – not like you and me, at least…yet he suffers for their mistakes…"

The Russian chuckled, more to himself than anything else. "So, maybe, Toris _is_ stupid. Selflessness...bah! Real men look out for themselves…" Ivan stumbled precariously, but caught himself at the last moment.

_I hope he doesn't pass out – I can't carry him home by myself!_

But through her concern, Natalia was unsettled. So...Ivan thought that Toris was stupid, just because the Lithuanian cared enough about others to face their consequences for them? _Does that mean Ivan wouldn't do the same?_

They finally came to the door of Ivan's house, just as the colorful sky made way for night's impenetrable cloak, studded with stars and a moon.

Ivan went to the kitchen and pilfered some more vodka from his own stash. He settled on the couch with his booze, prepared to drink himself to oblivion and back again.

Natalia went upstairs without saying goodnight. Before going to bed, she checked Toris. The food she'd left earlier had been eaten, but the Lithuanian was still sleeping away the hours. Good - he was going to get better even faster if he kept resting.

She smiled, making sure the close the door quietly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ivan went out the next morning. He wouldn't tell Natalia what it was for though. Just that his errand of the day was "classified."

She made sure to swipe something for breakfast, for both Toris and herself. This was very good progress - he'd actually been awake when Natalia checked on him, after crawling out of her own bed. Eduard and Raivis had given her the typical confused and wary look as she gathered up cutlery, food, and chinaware. The look was one that the Belarusian had become accustomed to receiving over these past weeks.

"Food," Natalia declared in an unusually cheery manner upon entering Toris's bedroom. He was sitting upright with tired eyes, but a kind smile. The bruises had faded completely, and the wounds on his arms and back had just about formed into scars, which were both good things; it meant he didn't need to use anymore bandages at this point.

"Labas rytas, Natalia," the Lithuanian greeted her, as she placed a bowl of that morning's breakfast in his lap.

"How are you feeling today?" she inquired.

"I think I'll be able to come down for dinner," he told her confidently, as they dug into their meals of kasha. They ate quietly, the silence only broken by the clatter of silverware on porcelain, and the occasional rustle of a bed sheet.

"So," Toris said softly, after scraping and cleaning his plate of every scrap of the porridge-like food. "What do my brothers think of you taking care of me? Usually Eduard does it…"

Natalia set down her fork. "They're..." she paused, searching for an appropriate way to describe the antics of the two small nations. "...confused, to put it mildly. I think they might even be a little freaked out."

"We can't keep them out if the loop forever." His voice was lowered – it'd be harder for electronic bugs to pick it up that way. Toris ran his fingers through his tangled mat of hair – but this time, the strands were knotted by sleep, not blood and other carious forms of gore.

_No, we can't. But it _would _be ideal, wouldn't it?_

She shook her head, and spoke in a hushed voice herself. "We won't. It'd be impossible. Those two are nosy - at least Eduard is." The Estonian was very smart, Natalia knew. She figured it was only a matter of time before he figured out what was going on behind closed doors in the Braginski household.

"Yeah, he's like that," Toris grinned sheepishly. "But unfortunately, we've _yet_ to come up with a _perfect plan_." he said, with no lack of good-humored sarcasm.

"Yes, _quite_ unfortunate," she said, playing along. Now it was Natalia's turn to grin. She tried unsuccessfully to repress a small giggle. The whole thing was just so absurdly _infuriating_ and _difficult_! It felt good to joke about the whole difficult task, even if it was just a little bit.

_No! We need to focus on the job at hand, not joke about it!_ But Natalia didn't really care – it felt good to inject some comedy into the situation.

"Your smile is very pretty, Natalia."

_Well gee, that was…nice to hear, actually. How should I react? Not like last time – I don't want to retreat to my room today._

She mock frowned in response, still entertaining the relaxed, friendly atmosphere in the room. _I just need to keep it from getting to touchy-feely…_

Toris chuckled quietly, and Natalia joined him despite herself.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Toris came down for dinner that night; needless to say, his brothers were happy to see him up and about again, and Ivan was overjoyed to see that his favorite plaything was on the mend.

_Is he a plaything to Ivan?_ Natalia wondered. _Or are there actually some feelings there?_

_But it doesn't matter,_ she thought bitterly, getting comfy in her chair. _Because the sooner Toris heals, the sooner Ivan can do the exact same thing all over again. Rinse and repeat..._

There was an extremely uncomfortable moment, when the Russian greeted Toris as he entered the room. The Lithuanian had frozen; the blank look present on his face again. Silently, Natalia prayed.

_I know I haven't said anything to you in a while...a long while. But please, _please_ snap Toris out of whatever daze he's in. I don't want Ivan to get angry with him!_

God must have been paying attention that evening, because as soon as Natalia finished her silent plea to a deity she hadn't spoken with in about half a century, Toris smiled shakily.

"Ačiū, Mr. Braginski," his voice was steady, but considerably hushed - humbled sounding.

_He shouldn't be the one acting humbled._

Her brother made Toris sit right next to him, ejecting Natalia from her usual seat. Had something like this happened weeks earlier (and it had, most definitely), she would've felt all-consuming, bitter hatred for the Lithuanian. Now, she was surprised to discover she didn't mind in the slightest.

Well, no. That would be a lie. She was jealous that Ivan held a treasured place beside the Lithuanian, and not her. _How ironic…_

She could see Toris's fear this time – something that wasn't so obvious to her before. He sat stock still and very rigid in the center of his seat, leaning not too close, but at the same time not too far away from Ivan. _How many other meals has he spent like this?_

This time was different from all the others, though. This time Toris had someone there for support. Natalia gently nudged his foot under the table with her own. He met her gaze. She flipped her hair quickly over her shoulder, and broke eye contact, suddenly very interested in her fingernails. She cast a glance back up at him, making to hold Toris's gaze for at least a moment.

_Don't worry. I'm here,_ she assured silently and mentally, wishing upon all things holy that she possessed telepathic ability. It would seem that she didn't need telepathy, however, because Toris nudged her back. He then proceeded to move his glass so it was on the other side of his plate, and straightened his silverware.

He understood.

And it was due to this understanding that Toris's posture relaxed, Ivan smiled, and Natalia let out a breath she'd been holding in without realizing. The rest of the meal took on a very familiar rhythm.

After dinner, they all went to bed at the same time for once. Ivan took a few bottles of vodka to keep him company in the loneliness of night. Natalia welcomed the soft blankets and sheets, but couldn't seem to get herself to relax. She remained awake into the small hours of the morning, cursed with insomnia. And she had no clue as to why.

_Maybe Ivan is onto something with his vodka-before-sleep method…_

**(A/N)** Chapter five! I'd just like to say thanks to all those who've reviewed and/or added this story to their alerts. And if you've added it to your alerts but not reviewed…do it, dammit! Just kidding, but reviews are really appreciated :). I watched this show today, where they theoretically pitted the KGB and CIA against one another to see who would win…let me just say, I'm glad I'm not/wasn't on the wrong side of the Russians. That's some scary shiz, man.

**Question:** Have you ever walked around your neighborhood barefoot on an 80 degree day?

**Answer:** Yes.

**Tip:** Don't do it – there's a reason why they invented shoes (I write this as I put Band-Aids on about five giant feet blisters…it seemed like such a good idea at the time! But, then again, so does everything else).

**DICTIONARY:**** (not a whole lot of new words, today)**

**Da** – yes in Russian

**Nyet** – no

**Dy** – yes in Belarusian

**Niama** – no

**Starejšy brat** – older brother

**Labas rytas** – good morning in Lithuanian

**Ačiū** – thank you

**HISTORICAL/ OTHER NOTES:**

There aren't very many historical notes I can think of for this chapter, other than the fact that the Soviet Union's leaders weren't avid fans of religion (hence Natalia's "haven't spoken to God in half a century" thing). In the U.S.S.R., pledging loyalty to the state was the most important thing – and religion took people's loyalty and deposited it somewhere else. Many religious leaders (Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc.) all faced prosecution by the Soviet government and other nasty business such as that. It was very hard to find a job within the Communist Party if you were openly religious, and worship in general just kind of went underground and in secret because it made things easier.

Zrazy is a type of potato cake – the website I found it on claimed it was Belarusian, but I'm pretty sure it's generic Eastern European food fare.

Kasha is like porridge, and can be served with fish or fruit or something like that.

I know some people don't call Ukraine Irina/ Irunya, but that's what was listed on the creator's blog as favorite name options…so…you know. Kinda self-explanatory there.

Any questions, PM me or leave one in a review – I'll do my best to answer :)

By the way, TOTALLY jealous of my friend right now (she's in Germany!). Thanks for reading all this stuff at the bottom if you did.

-V.o.t.s.


	6. Chapter 6

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER:** Hetalia ees noot ma propertay, I swears eet.

"Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top."

-Virginia Woolf

Natalia was hurrying along the road alone, bags full of food secured tightly in her arms. She glanced up at the dark, ominous, rain-promising clouds hanging overhead, and hurried faster. The Belarusian wanted to get home before the storm started. It was gonna be a big one, the kind that always shadowed the tail end of a warm front, much like the one they'd been experiencing lately.

The treetops were beginning to sway in the strong breeze when she finally managed to get inside, the sturdy door acting as an unwavering barrier against the elements. It had been hard to close the door; the wind had been blowing so hard.

"I'm back," she called. No answer.

Natalia frowned. "Pryvitannie?" Only the lonely emptiness of eerie silence greeted her. Her voice practically echoed throughout the entire house, bouncing off the walls and ceiling.

_That's strange…_

She set the bags in her arms on the floor, and began investigating. An uneasy feeling had settled in her chest. _This is not normal._ Where was Ivan - and what about Toris, Eduard, or Raivis for that matter? Toris usually greeted her, even before they became unexpected allies. Eduard and Raivis usually made _some_ noise.

_Especially Raivis! _It was too quiet to be natural.

As Natalia crept through empty room after empty room on the first floor, that feeling of horrible uneasiness began to grow. They were not in the kitchen, living room, dining room, study, or the parlor. She even checked the smallish broom closet that they used as a make-shift pantry/ laundry room.

That left the second floor of the house. And if no one was there either..._then where the Hell are they?_

Natalia slowly climbed the stairs, all too aware of each creak and groan the old wood beneath her feet issued. _But why am I nervous? Maybe it's a coincidence…it's my brother's house! I have nothing to be afraid of…_

"Hello?" she called again. _So strange..._

Natalia went down the hall, opening and closing each door to check for her housemates. No one was present, not in her, Toris's, Eduard's, or even Raivis's room. She scanned all the bathrooms and closets to be on the safe side – even under the beds, which after doing, made the Belarusian feel kind of ridiculous.

That left Ivan's room. It was the exact same thing that had happened to her last week, when she was looking for Toris. Dark rays of foreboding seemed to emanate from that room – nothing good could possibly come from going inside…even getting too close felt dangerous. As Natalia neared the door, time seemed to slow down. Each footstep took a tremendous amount of effort, and the uneasy feeling came to a climax, as if this part of the house was a massive culmination of everything she'd ever been unsettled by.

The Belarusian remembered, all too well, what kind of sight had greeted her when she entered her brother's room previously. She took a steadying breath and turned the knob, which looked new, but turned as if it were severely rusted. The door swung on its hinges.

Natalia felt her lungs compress, struggling through her shock to extract oxygen from the air, as the scene before her became apparent in the gray, stormy afternoon light. It was horrifying, even more so than discovering Toris's beaten body. She couldn't even muster a scream.

Eduard and Raivis hung, by nooses attached to a small but sturdy chandelier, swinging in the center of the room. They stared at her with glassy, truly dead eyes. Natalia could tell – nations could come back from the eternal coma of death…but the two Baltics wouldn't.

_Boža moj! Oh my God oh my GodohmyGodohmyGod!_

They were naked, and their bodies bore savage, painful looking marks almost identical to Toris's. Except these were fresh, not even close to being healed. Raivis mouth hung open. Eduard's hands and fingers were splayed, frozen forever with rigamortis in a painful looked pose. His glasses hung from one ear.

Natalia finally gasped and stumbled back from the doorway. _I need to get out of here…_

_Toris…Ivan…where are you? _She wasn't even going to _think_ of the possibility that the same fate that had befallen Eduard and Raivis might have already been inflicted on them.

"Oh God," she moaned, part disbelief, part stunned grief. Bile was rising in her throat. Then, suddenly, the uneasy feeling from before doubled. Only this time the Belarusian was able to recognize it for what it truly was - _fear_. Fear for her safety and her life.

Natalia caught a glimpse of something moving, cloaked by shadows in the furthest corner of her brother's room. Whatever had done this to Eduard and Raivis was _still in the house_, and now it was after her.

She bolted down the hall, slipping and sliding on hardwood floor in her soft soled shoes. The dark presence was getting closer. She had to find Toris! She had to find Ivan!

"Dapamažycie mnie! Dapamažycie mnie !" It was extremely unlikely that anyone would be able to hear her, much less come to her aid, but still Natalia cried for assistance.

"Help me, someone, please!" She could see the top of the stairs, which seemed to be defying the laws of the universe, by getting farther and farther away instead of closer and closer.

Natalia turned the corner and **BAM**! The Belarusian had run smack dab into one of the very people she'd been looking for...

"Toris?" she got her bearings, recovering from the impact. The Lithuanian seemed unfazed. She continued to speak. "Oh, slava bohu! I've found you! Now come on, we have to get out of here!"

Natalia tugged on his shirt sleeve, trying to lead him away. "Let's go!"

But Toris did not move. His stare was fixed on one unseen point in the distance, unblinking and unwavering. "Why?" his voice was flat, completely devoid of any emotion or inflection of any kind.

Natalia was stunned. "Why? _WHY_? Because _something_ is following me!" she tightened her grip on his arm, pulling harder. "It's already got your brothers. So, _come on_!"

Toris remained motionless. He stood rooted in the same spot in the middle of the hallway; feet spread apart in a stance that told her he wasn't going anywhere unless he wanted too.

"Kali laska!" Natalia cried, pleading. Whatever was after the two nations was almost upon them, slowly approaching its soon-to-be prey. Her fear grew to be stronger than her courage, and she sprinted down the stairs. As much as it filled the Belarusian with shame, she had to leave Toris behind.

_I'm so sorry...!_

_Gotta get to the door...gotta get away..._it was a mantra in Natalia's head, thrusting her forward and providing the will and power to get away from the horrible presence pursuing her.

"Gotta get to the door! Gotta get away!" she was whispering it between breaths now.

There! She was at the door now, but it was not the time to celebrate how close she was to escape.

Panicking, she tried the front door's doorknob. _It's jammed, God dammit!_ Natalia tried everything she could think of on such short notice. She jiggled the lock, kicked the door; even pounded its surface with her fists. All her efforts were about as helpful as an umbrella with holes in it.

Heavy footsteps were audible. Natalia threw herself at the exit with renewed vigor.

"Openopenopenopenopenopenopen!" She screamed. _Too late.._. Natalia froze, hands on the stubborn doorknob. It was as if half of her senses had stopped working. She didn't hear anything, or feel anything. All the Belarusian tasted was the bone dry interior of her own mouth, and all she saw was the shadowy outline of _SOMETHING_ against the wall.

Slowly, Natalia turned. If today was the day she died for good, she might as well face her attacker. She wasn't about to go down without a struggle. _I'm afraid…_something she never would've admitted aloud, but was plainly visible.

Her eyes saw a familiar pair of shoes. She moved her gaze up - a familiar pair of pants. Further still - a familiar coat with an accompanying scarf. All the way, now – a very familiar face.

"Ivan?" She couldn't comprehend it. His face was like stone, but a wide and happy smile was plastered across it. His eyed were dark, almost black in the barely lit main corridor.

The Russian's hand rose into the air. Clutched in his fingers was half a broken vodka bottle. If he were to hit Natalia with it, it'd definitely leave a noticeable mark. The thing would slice through her like a hot knife through butter.

"Vanya?" she whimpered. "Brother, please...it's me, Natasha! Your malodšaja siastra …"

_He can't do this to me - he couldn't!_

It happened in an instant - his fist and the deadly weapon of glass whizzed through the air, coming right at her –

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_NIAMA_!" Natalia bolted upright, as a flash of lightening illuminated her room and a peal of thunder shook the house down to the foundation. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, spurred on by the memory of the dream. She froze, as she registered the touch of a hand on her shoulder.

_What if it's Ivan? _She knew her brother would never hurt her, but the events of the nightmare were still very vivid and fresh in her mind, permanently imprinting themselves into her memory.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Natalia brought her hand around and smacked whoever it was that dared enter her bedroom - hard.

"Ow!"

_Oh. That doesn't sound like Ivan. It sounds like..._She reached over to turn on a lamp, on the nightstand beside her.

"Toris?"

The Lithuanian was dressed in his pajamas, like Natalia, and was gently caressing a big red mark on the side of his face that was shaped almost exactly like her hand.

_Oops…_

"Mnie škada," she apologized, truthfully. Then, the Belarusian realized something. "Wait a minute! What are you doing in my room?"

Toris put a finger to his lips. "Quiet," he said, in a manner that was much less loud than the one Natalia had just spoken in.

"I know its stormy tonight," he continued. "But Mr. Braginski could still wake up." Thunder boomed outside her window, as if to say "Yes, it is stormy".

Natalia motioned for Toris to sit beside her. She repeated her question once he was close enough to whisper to.

"What the _Hell_ are you in my room for, Toris?" A crack of lightning, accompanied by more thunder, made both of them jump.

"You were shouting in your sleep," he explained. "I wanted to make sure you were alright." His face was open, eyes friendly. Not closed and empty, like in her dream.

Not only was Natalia glad to know the reason he'd been in her room, she was also kind of flattered that Toris had been worried about her. _No one ever does._

"I didn't wake you up did I?" she asked, alarmed as a realization hit her. _If I woke _him_ up, what about Ivan? _Ivan's room was even closer to hers than Toris's was.

"Ne," Toris abated her fears. "I have trouble sleeping a lot of the time. Whenever I'm healthy, that is." He fixed his gaze above her head.

_Right, touchy subject._

Natalia cleared her throat. "Well, I'm fine. So..." It was a lie – she didn't feel fine at all.

"I guess I'll just go then." The bed creaked as Toris lifted himself to his feet. Then, Natalia was seized by a sudden need, an impulse.

"Wait!" _What did I just say?_

The Lithuanian turned away from the exit. "Wait?" he asked, puzzled and maybe even a little amused.

Natalia blushed again. _Dammit! Why? I always find some way to embarrass myself around this guy, don't I?_

"I don't...don't want to be alone," she admitted begrudgingly. _I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea…_

Toris raised his eyebrows. "How come?"

_So many questions!_ Natalia fixed her gaze with his. "Haven't you ever dreamed about Ivan?"

His face paled, he seemed to deflate - if that was even possible. Natalia now had a pretty good idea of what caused the nation's reoccurring insomnia. If she had nightmares about beatings and other forms of violation, Natalia would probably have trouble sleeping, too.

_I hope the dream I had tonight doesn't become a repeat experience._

"Atsiprašau," he said, sounding choked. "Where would you like me to stay?"

Natalia thought a moment. She looked down at the rug. _Niama._ She looked at a chair. _Nope._ What about the bed? _Dy - the bed._

"Right here," Natalia patted the pillow beside her. She expected him to laugh, to not take her seriously. Or worse, walk away. After all, the whole thing was ridiculous. Natalia, the fearless Belarusian...afraid to sleep by herself?

Toris did neither. He drew back the covers, as Natalia turned off the light. It was odd sharing a bed with somebody again. The last time Natalia could remember shed done anything even remotely like this was way, way back when she'd been a small child.

They silently lay in the darkness, both of the nations facing the ceiling. She could sense Toris's nervousness. Apparently, getting in the same bed with her was something worth worrying about. But instead of his nerves being fear fueled, as it would be with anybody else, he was nervous because he _liked_ her.

Slowly, the thunder faded into the distance, and the lightning no longer lit up her walls.

"I used to do this with Alfred," Toris laughed quietly, part uneasily, part humorously.

Natalia turned her head toward him, an amused smile present on her face. She was intrigued though…could the American be a closet case? _I knew it! _"Alfred - really? When was this?"

"It was before the depression, when I worked as his housekeeper. He'd watch those cheesy American horror films, and get absolutely terrified."

Natalia giggled. She knew of the films that he spoke of and found it hilarious that Alfred, who was such a strong nation, would cower when faced with the prospect of spending the night alone after being confronted with images that were no more terrifying than moldy bread.

She'd _eaten_ things more frightening than those movie monsters. _This coming from a girl who's_ _afraid to sleep alone in the dark_, the little voice scolded her.

_I'm not afraid_, the Belarusian argued_...anymore, at least._

"Just don't let Alfred know I told you, alright? He'd get really embarrassed."

"Alright," she agreed. It hit Natalia then, suddenly and completely unexpected - an idea. Well, it was actually more of a request. But Toris...what would he think?

"Hey, Toris?"

"Yeah?"

_Shit, how do I go about asking something like this? _She worried. _Wait – I ask my brother to marry me all the time. I can handle this!_

"Did you hold Alfred then, in your bed?" Natalia asked, more timidly than she meant too.

"Ne..." he sounded confused, not sure at all where the Belarusian was going with this.

_Guess I was wrong about the closet case thing, then…oh well. _Natalia took a deep breath. _Here goes!_

"Do-you-think-you-could-show-me-how-you-would-have?" she said it so fast, even _she _wasn't completely sure what words had escaped her mouth.

"What?"

Natalia felt her face get hot. Why the hell was she so nervous? How was this simple thing even harder to propose than marriage? _It doesn't make any sense!_

"Could you, um, show me how...you might have? Held him, I mean."

Natalia was extremely glad that she couldn't see Toris in the dark. In fact, she again expected him to laugh. And just like before, she was proven wrong. _I need to give him more credit._

The Lithuanian did not hesitate in shifting himself so he was lying on his side, and Natalia let herself be pulled into his arms. They were surprisingly strong, for a subordinate nation. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, breathing in his scent. It was fresh, springy. The steady rising and falling of Toris's chest was comforting.

They remained like that, frozen and completely still. Both were Silent. Talking would have shattered the fragile veil of camaraderie…and maybe even something else that held the two of them together like that.

Toris's hands did not wander from the small of her back, even though Natalia wouldn't have stopped them if they did. She almost wanted him to. No, she _did_ want it – badly.

_I'd probably go all the way, and enjoy it too. But, I can't. Niama, don't even think about it._

Her breathing slowed, her eyelids drooped. This was feeling more and more natural by the minute.

_If I could stay in this moment forever_, _I would. This is a safe place. A happy place..._and with that final, calming thought, Natalia fell asleep. She did not dream.

**(A/N) **Happy (belated) birthday, Alfred F. Jones! I'm posting this at like, one in the morning or something. I just got back from a lovely fireworks display one town over (because my town does them on the eleventh…wtf? What's the point of even having fireworks if they're not on Independence Day? It's like giving somebody a birthday cake without the candles and singing.)

Thanks to all my reviwers and the people who added this story to their favorites/ alerts. Feel free to leave a comment, whenever you want. :)

By the way, this might be my last post for a couple weeks. I'm not giving up on the story or anything like that – I'm moving halfway across the country in two days, and I don't know when I'll have internet access again. Two words -scared…shitless. Also, super depressed and angry. At least all my extended family will be practically a stone's throw away now (although I'm not so sure that's a good thing).

Also, I have a friend I am leaving behind who happens to have an account on this site. So as my parting gift to her; if you like Naruto, search **VampKnightlvr94**. She's got some good stuff. :)

Now, rambling aside, sorry :P

**DICTIONARY:**

**Pryvitannie **– hello in Belarusian

**Boža moj **– oh my God

**Dapamažycie mnie **– help me

**Slava bohu **– thank God

**Kali laska **- please

**Malodšaja siastra **- younger sister

**Mnie škada **– I'm sorry

**Dy** – yes

**Niama** - no

**Atsiprašau **– I'm sorry in Lithuanian

**Ne** – no

**HISTORICAL/ OTHER NOTES:**

Can't think of any for this chapter – it was only fluff and a dream sequence!

Later, V.o.t.s.


	7. Chapter 7

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: **Hetalia is not my flippin' property :(

Life is a quest and love a quarrel ...

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Natalia was not happy - Toris was avoiding her. She'd woken up the morning after he spent the better part of the night in her room, only to find that him missing. The sheets on his side of the bed were mussed, and the pillow bore an indent that clearly told her he had been there.

_It wasn't a dream…_

Natalia went to breakfast, and saw that everybody else had already finished their food. The dishes were already done, the counters wiped, and the floor swept. There was a plate of blini, and a cup of tea set in front of her chair. A small handwritten note was stuck under her the edge of her cup – in a tidy scrawl it said one thing – "Natalia."

Ivan had already gone to work, and the Baltics, particularly Toris - had made themselves scarce. He was probably off in some reclusive corner of the house, dusting or polishing some god forsaken vase that didn't need to be cleaned.

Natalia went to find him. And when she did, he was indeed tucked in some little, quiet, unused part of the house - but he wasn't cleaning a vase. He was sweeping and washing the floor. She stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised, arms crossed. Natalia cleared her throat.

"Oh, labas rytas, Natalia!" Toris looked up to greet her, and then spun around to leave, broom and mop in hand.

"Toris, wait, I want to talk..." _What's the matter with him? He's acting weird..._

He didn't meet her eyes. "I can't, Natalia. I have to get all my chores done."

She watched him hurry down the hall, disappearing around a corner. The Belarusian narrowed her eyes.

_Chores didn't stop you before. _

She had no idea _why_ Toris was acting so peculiar, but she was going to get to the bottom of it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The two of them repeated a similar pattern over the next few days. Toris wouldn't stay in the same room with her for more than a minute, unless they were having a meal. But even then, he wouldn't look her in the eye.

Natalia got fed up, real fast. On the third morning after Toris stayed with her, she decided to corner him, and _force_ him to talk to her. It was the perfect time to do it! Ivan was at another meeting, and wouldn't be back until that night. Eduard and Raivis were off doing generic errands in town - the kinds that you loathe to do, but which have to be done.

Anyway, it short, they'd be alone for a while.

Natalia found Toris in the living room. Ivan's silverware was spread out on the coffee table. The Lithuanian was sitting on the couch, polishing each piece. He looked bored. _He keeps doing all these chores that don't need to be done!_

"Toris." He froze mid-polish, looked up, and saw her. _If he wanted to see me, he wouldn't be so nervous._

"Hey," She started walking over to the couch as he stood up.

"Hey," he answered back.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" She had gone straight to the point…_again_.

"Ką?"

"_Don't_ play dumb with me - I know you've been doing it. The only thing I'm not sure of is _why_," Natalia tried not to let her hurt feelings come to the surface. _I let him in – now he wants out?_

These past few days had been odd, and not just because of Toris's behavior. The Belarusian _wanted_ him. She had never wanted anyone like that before, not even her brother. Her desire for Ivan was a flickering candle compared to what she felt for Toris. But, this desire manifested itself differently.

The physical part of it was still there, but she also needed emotional attention as well. These feelings she felt now had started small. But they'd grown, until they consumed her completely. Natalia _wanted_ Toris. She didn't care how, or why, or when. She just did.

"I..." he blushed. Natalia still stood in front of the Lithuanian, firmly blocking his exit path. She wasn't going to let him leave until she got an answer.

He sat, defeated, on the couch. Natalia joined him. She tucked her foot behind the other and folded her hands in her lap - very chaste. The opposite of how the Belarusian was feeling.

"I have been avoiding you," Toris admitted. "And I'm sorry."

Natalia believed his sincerity. He looked like a beaten puppy, shoulders slumped, head hung, and leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees..._an attractive beaten puppy._

_Wait, what? Slow down, Natalia,_ she told herself. She shook her head, to clear it.

Čamu? Why have you been doing it?

Toris blushed even more. She kind of liked this shy side of him – it seemed intimate, and more vulnerable than any of the other nations she'd met. He could be awkward, but strong at the same time.

He bit his lip. "Well...that night I stayed in your room..."

Natalia sat up straighter. "Dy?" _Finally!_

"I entered your room with absolutely _no_ disrespectful intentions, I swear. But then, you invited me to sleep with you, and I had...thoughts of a certain nature. Ones that I was afraid weren't returned…" his entire face was aflame, and he looked like he just wanted to blink out of existence.

Natalia leaned forward, compelled to do so by her newly acknowledged attraction - she was very close to Toris. He still smelled like spring and fresh air.

_How? Is it his shampoo, or something? I'll have to ask._

"You don't have to apologize," she assured him, laying a hand on his forearm. Toris stared at it. "We're all alone today…" Natalia continued. _What am I saying! I mean, I want to, but..._

"Natalia - are you suggesting what I think you are?" Toris's eyes were wide, his arm ridged beneath her fingers.

_Does water freeze in cold weather?_ Natalia blinked slowly. _No, wait – what am I _doing_? Spynić! STOP, STOP, STOP!_

Toris stood up again, slowly backing out of the room. "We can't! _I_ can't! It wouldn't be right."

Natalia frowned. "What do you mean? I wouldn't mind. We both want to, so what's the big deal?" _I've got to stop – I'm gonna scare him away! _But she couldn't, not now.

Toris shook his head, eyes squeezed shut, hands held up in a defensive position. "Ne - I won't."

And with those words, which sounded more like he was trying to convince _himself_ of his virtuous resolve instead of _her_, he spun around and bolted up the stairs. The sound of his bedroom door slamming shut was audible from where Natalia was sitting.

_Now I've done it…_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia was determined – she'd get Toris to pay attention to her.

Everyone was home for supper that evening. Ivan was seated at the head of the table, Natalia to his immediate left, and Toris to the right. Eduard was next to her, and Raivis was right at home by his oldest brother.

Natalia had barley even touched her food. Toris wasn't looking at her.

_Lookatmelookatmelookatme!_

Ivan was talking in her ear about the availability of necessary consumer products, while the two younger Baltics tittered quietly with each other, discussing the varied events of the day. She didn't hear them – she wasn't listening. Natalia slid her foot across the floor, until it hit Toris's.

This time, she was not touching him to show her support. She was doing it to show her intentions. The Lithuanian tensed, and began stirring his food around his plate. Natalia lifted her leg slightly, and brushed Toris's trousered calf with the tip of her shoe. He reddened, and drummed his fingers on the tabletop.

_Too far?_ She wondered. But still, Natalia continued.

The others remained ensnared in their conversations (in Ivan's case, a quite one-sided conversation - not that he noticed or even cared), oblivious to the little scene being played out before their very eyes.

Natalia kept going, seeing how far she could actually -

Toris stood up. "Are you done, Raivis?" The poor little Latvian looked very confused. His meal wasn't even half finished.

"W-what?"

"Wonderful. Here, I'll take your plate," Toris picked up all the dishes and silverware on his side of the table so hastily Natalia was surprised that they didn't break. Then he dumped them, rather unceremoniously, into the sink, and swept out of the room.

_Too far._

Raivis sat completely still. He still seemed to be stunned that practically his entire meal had been taken out from under him. Natalia, Eduard, and Ivan stared into the hallway, where Toris had disappeared to who-knows where.

Her brother sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Toris is eager to get back to work - good. You two," he gestured to Eduard and Raivis. "Follow Toris's example." Then Ivan turned back to his dinner, which had been spared from Toris's sudden exodus, along with his half full bottle of vodka.

After everyone was finished with the food, and after the table was cleared, Natalia got lucky.

Ivan was called up by his boss right after the last of the nightly cleaning duties had been completed. It turned out that her brother needed to attend a late meeting between the leaders of his people. It seemed that there was some growing unrest in the Union again.

She waited until ten minutes after he left, angry in his silent, faux happy way ("It sure would've caused me a lot less trouble if they'd called me earlier. Wouldn't it have, Natasha? If the idiot would just use force like everyone's telling him too, we'd all be in bed by now."), before heading up to Toris's room.

"Hey," she said, upon opening the other nation's door. "Why did you leave the dinner table like that?"

_As if you didn't already know, idiot_, the head voice said. Natalia ignored it, closing the door behind her.

Toris was sitting on his bed, face hidden by his long fingers and brunette hair. "Natalia," he asked, still concealed from her eyes. "Are you toying with me?"

_Toying? What the Hell does he mean by that?_

"Niama!" she exclaimed, angry that he would even think she could do such a horrible thing. _Well, in retrospect..._

"Really, you're sure?" Toris looked up, there was a note of sarcasm and hurt in his words that Natalia hadn't heard in them ever before. "Because I've liked you for centuries, Natalia, and you've never given any sign of liking me back! So now, after all these years, you've decided to suddenly take an interest?"

Natalia felt the need to defend herself – she'd been unprepared for this sudden criticism, and from _Toris_, no less. _Why is he saying these things?_

"I don't know why! I have no idea why I want you now! Do you think this is easy for me? I'm not sure what I want."

Toris continued, and began gesturing animatedly with his hands. "I...you can't just go and _touch _me like that! In the living room, you remember. And then tonight - your brother was _right there_! Don't you have _any_ common sense? But it doesn't really matter anyway, does it? Because sooner or later you'll get board of me, and start chasing after _Ivan_ again."

It was almost as if the room had frozen over. Natalia clenched her fists. He was treading in uncharted waters, what she felt for her brother. He didn't, no he _couldn't _know what that was like -feelings that sometimes Natalia herself didn't completely understand.

"Be quiet," she whispered.

Toris's looked hurt, his eyes were downcast, and his mouth was a frown. "You told me, Natalia. You told me that you were helping me and my brothers so you could have Mr. Braginski all to yourself. But now, I don't know what to think and –"

"QUIET!" she shouted, not caring if any electronic bugs picked up their argument. _The whole thing would seem odd out of context, anyway._

Toris shook his head, holding up three fingers. "We have _four days_, Natalia - four days to make our escape! And then you're gone! Me, Raivis, and Eduard – we'll all have to stay in this apleistas Dievo place for who knows how long!"

Natalia clenched her teeth. She chewed her tongue before spitting out her response. _Nie skazać, što heta, don't say it, don't say it!_

"I don't care. You can all stay and rot here forever for all it matters to me!" The Belarusian regretted what she said in her fury almost immediately, but the words were already hanging in the air, unretract able.

Toris faltered, his expression of hurting and sadness deepening. "N-Natalia...do you really mean that?"

_Of Course not!..._But now Natalia was embarrassed, for both herself and for Toris. Her pride had taken a hit.

"Maybe," she said, head high, trying to keep her voice steady and even - cool sounding. "Did you mean what you said about me?"

Natalia didn't even wait for Toris to respond before spinning on her heel and stalking out of the room. She slammed the door behind her, grabbed her hair, and screamed.

_Why? Why does everything have to be so God damn complicated!_

Natalia opened her eyes. Raivis and Eduard were presses against the wall beside her, their faces those of a kid who'd just gotten caught doing something he wasn't supposed too. They'd been eavesdropping on the argument, obviously. Natalia and Toris hadn't been very quiet while discussing their frustrations.

"What?" she snarled, irritated and hurt, and angry with herself and with the world. "Go away!"

"Alright!" Eduard grabbed Raivis by the back of his shirt, and proceeded to rush his younger brother down the hall, away from the volatile Belarusian.

Natalia groaned, frustrated. Still clenching fistfuls of long, blonde hair in her fingers, she wandered aimlessly to the living room, where she plopped down on the couch. Government issued/monitored talk radio still echoed dimly from the ancient radio. Ivan had left it on in his absence.

Natalia closed her eyes, praying for the blessed numbness of sleep…it never came.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Breakfast was a nightmare. And for once, it wasn't because of Ivan. He happened to be almost halfway around the world that morning – the meeting with his boss had turned into a meeting with a bunch of other nations and _their _bosses.

Natalia and Toris stared icily at each other over their food, only half aware if what was going on around themselves. And yet, when required to speak to each other, they managed to maintain a pleasant, polite tone that left Eduard and Raivis utterly confused.

They watched the two of them bicker quietly, disguising insults or accusations as double entendres. The two young Baltic nations' heads went back and forth, like they were watching a verbal tennis match. Ivan being out of town had allowed Natalia and Toris's argument to simmer in the background if everyone's daily lives.

Natalia wished it would end. The Belarusian deeply regretted what she said. Toris wanted to make amends too, she could tell. She wanted to make peace with the Lithuanian, but decided stubbornly that he should be the one to apologize first.

_You're wrong Natalia, _said head voice. _Just accept it and move on – waiting for him is going to make things worse. _You_ started it._

An apology from either side wasn't going to happen very soon, it appeared. Either one of them would leave a room should the other enter, and conversations consisted of just a few (overly sweet and/or sarcastic) words - but only when absolutely necessary. All other times it was almost as if they'd taken a pact of silence.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Later, she whiled away the evening hours in her room until darkness fell – it was the only sure way to avoid the Lithuanian.

Natalia was perched in the sill of her open window - her back against one side, feet pressing on the other. No sense in falling out. The night was black, and it was considerably warmer than it had been earlier in the week.

She peered out at the surrounding landscape, watching the tips of the trees sway in the wind. Summer was coming, and when it did, it was going to stay. The last cold snap of the season had passed, earlier than usual.

That was one of the things unique to spring – its weather. You'd need a sweater one day, and shorts the next. But as the days inched ever closer to summer, it was gradually becoming warmer and warmer. The cold spells were less drastic, and the hot spots were getting sunnier and sunnier.

_It is May already, after all. _ May…where did the time go? It was hard to believe that it was a little over a month ago that she and Toris had teamed up to work on their plan.

The moon was only half full, but it still cast enough light for her to be able to see the end of the gravel – and chronically underused - driveway._ Why does he love me?_ She asked herself. _Or, maybe now, why _did _he love me…_Natalia desperately hoped that wasn't the case.

_The only thing I've ever shown him was cruelty and rejection, sans these past few weeks. I guess, to Toris, it might seem like I've been teasing him._

And then she thought, _but the more important question is, why am _I_ falling for _him_?_

Natalia heaved a sigh, and leaned her head back against the window frame. A warm breeze kissed her face, and she smiled.

_Because he's warm, like summer - I felt safe when he held me._

Ivan - the enigma; she'd been convinced for centuries that her older brother was the one she wanted to be with. Why the change? He was still the same, in a way. Natalia remained privy to Ivan's good side and sympathies. She knew she always would be. But something had changed when she saw Toris's scars, heard his cries.

Ivan was strong in a heavy, big, noticeable way. He looked confident, successful. At first glance, Toris would seem small, weak, and mild mannered. But Natalia had found that the Lithuanian possessed a different kind of strength. The kind that was carried quietly and never faltered. Toris had strength of spirit.

That's what kept him sane, that's what held him together through the times when anyone else would be broken. Like the decades of abuse he endured. Natalia knew that the stability of her moods and mind were touch and go most of the time, but if someone treated her like Ivan did Toris, she'd go completely off the deep end. ...and never come back to the surface.

_I wish I could possess that kind of strength…what did Toris feel when he held me?_ She wanted to know.

_He is angry with me..._the Belarusian wished that wasn't so. Natalia wanted to express to him what he made her feel, but years of getting her point across physically had left her with an inability to communicate her thoughts in a subtle, appropriate way.

_I was angry with him..._because she was getting touchy about he said about her and Ivan. Now, looking back on it, Natalia realized she wasn't angry because if what _Toris_ had said about her feelings for Ivan, or about her sincerity of her pursuit of the Lithuanian.

She was angry at _herself_ because she let him think that she still held sentiments like that for her brother. That and how she handled the whole thing with Toris, both in the living room and in the kitchen were what had fueled her anger.

_It was all a massive screw up on my part._

_I lashed out..._Natalia wanted to be with him then, with Toris. She wanted him to hold her, say everything was going to be fine. She wanted Toris's warmth, his steadiness.

_But how?_ He was still angry with her, for all Natalia knew. The Belarusian had said an awful thing about him and his brothers – who wouldn't be mad with someone who'd said they hoped they lived with an insane rapist for eternity?

She slid down off the windowsill, wincing as her feet hit the floor, uncomfortably hard. She threw one last glance at the night sky, each individual star visible from her little portal to the outside world. Then she slept - jeans, sweater and all, on the top of her embroidered quilts and blankets.

**(A/N) **Phew! This was a fun chapter to write. And yes! I have internet access at a lake, surprisingly…(but I am sooo happy because of it!). So, I'm spending some time up at the lake with family while my mom and dad house hunt (totally not envious). I will probably be posting in a week, depending on whether or not the extended stay place we rented has wyfy (pleasepleasepleaseplease).

I did not however, like writing their argument :( Liet seemed so…aggressive? I don't know the word for it – just that he kind of channeled "Battle of Grunwald Liet" or "Argumentative Liet" for a few days, there.

FYI – I went to a supermarket today, in the town closest to the lake. Well, obviously, it was a teeny-tiny town, and everything was log-cabin/camp/outdoors/moose themed (no joke). And over each isle of the store, before listing what was in the isle (like cereal, eggs, tofu, cat litter, etc., etc.) it had a lake name. One of 'em said Lake Norway :D . So I took a picture of it because it made me laugh.

**DICTIONARY:**

**Labas rytas – **good morning in Lithuanian

**Ką – **what

**Apleistas Dievo – **God forsaken

**Ne - **no

**Čamu – **why in Belarusian

**Spynić – **stop

**Dy –** yes

**Niama –** no

**Nie skazać, što heta – **don't say it

**HISTORICAL/ OTHER NOTES:**

I can't think of anything historical…can you? Well, we are steadily approaching May 11th, 1990 (Liet's Independence Day)…and things were getting hairy in the republics around that time – hence Russia's meeting with his boss.

Other than that, it was just rising action and complications, as my English teacher liked to say :P

Note to people who have this story in their alerts – I'm going to be editing and re-uploading some chapters soon, so I'm gonna be spamming your inboxes. Sorry – I've seen some grammar, spelling, vocab, and historical notes stuff that needed to be added/changed/fixed…you know. In the end, it'll enhance your reading experience XP

**Lake Norway…Denmark has a cabin up there! XD XD XD!**

Thanks! ~ V.o.t.s.


	8. Chapter 8

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Hetalia (I've run out of funny ideas for the disclaimer)! D: Ohh noooeess!

Action expresses priorities.

- Mohandas K. Gandhi

…There were only two days left, now. Two days left until Natalia left Ivan's house, and Toris's window of escape was gone. They still weren't talking. She knew that they really should pick their way through the rhetorical barbed wire between them, but the Belarusian just couldn't get herself to do it. Her pride had always been her Achilles heel.

Two days…

One more...

_Time's up._

Natalia closed the latch on her suitcase and stood back, scouring the room with her eyes for any belongings she may have missed – _Nothing _- Her assortment of clothes had abdicated every drawer in the dresser, and her few toiletries had been retrieved from their temporary homes in the bathroom.

Her train didn't leave until seven in the evening, and everyone else was still asleep besides Natalia – it was quite early in the morning. _Better to be early than late._

She just wanted to go home at this point; never before had she been so eager to leave Ivan's house. If he'd asked Natalia to move in, a few months ago the Belarusian would've leapt at the opportunity. Now all the treasured things in the world couldn't keep her from departing - except, maybe, for a certain Lithuanian.

_But I think my chances with him are rather low, at the moment_, Natalia thought dejectedly, fishing a runaway sock out from under the bed. _Even _I _wouldn't wanna be with myself, right now._ She stuffed the sock into a side pocket of her carry-on bag, not really caring where it went. She looked through the small bookcase by the desk – Ivan had filled it with books written by Marxist, or the latest government-approved authors.

Things like censorship had been loosening up under Gorbachev – but not _too_ much, mind you. The government wasn't as hyper aware to "things-that-will-cause-dissent-within-the-Union" as it used to be, like in the days of Stalin or Brezhnev.

She pocketed a couple of the newer novels – Ivan certainly wouldn't mind, and she needed something to read on the nine hour train ride back to Minsk…besides, Natalia figured she needed a good laugh. She sat at the desk and read the first few chapters of a book about the history of Mt. Everest. _Who would've guessed that the highest mountain on Earth could be so boring?_

About an hour later, she heard sounds of activity on the first floor. The house was waking up.

_I have to go downstairs eventually…might as well do it now. _She slowly lined up all her bags and suitcases by the foot of the four poster bed - à la military style - and went to breakfast, dreading the moment she would walk into the kitchen.

The three Baltics were busy with the preparation of kasha, again – it was one of Ivan's favored traditional breakfast dishes. Toris kept his back to her, whisking a bowl filled with raw egg furiously. _He knows I'm here._

Ivan himself was lounging in his chair, elbows propped on the table. In his hands was his favorite pistol - a relic from the world war era, it's metal body and barrel glistened, black and deadly even in the innocent morning light. He'd just finished rubbing it down with some kind of oil. Natalia barely repressed a shudder.

"Dobroe utro, Natasha," Ivan greeted Natalia with a warm smile, one that he saved for only his sisters and all those scarce moments of true happiness. He carefully placed the gun off to the side of the table.

"You slept well, da?"

Natalia nodded, drained in every way possible by the events of late. She sat down next to her brother with a sigh, pointedly making sure to keep Toris out of her line of sight. _I can't face him…any of them._

"Are you alright?"

_Of _course _I'm "alright" – except for the fact that my personal failures are making me breakfast! _She mustered a small, forced looking smile. "Dy, Vanya. I'm just reluctant to be leaving your home after such a long stay."

She tapped a long, carefully filed nail against the china plate in front of her "I hate the thought if returning to my own house, cold and empty." Ivan nodded, and engrossed himself with the tea that Raivis had just set down next to the pistol.

Natalia sensed that breakfast was almost ready when Raivis moved the vase of yellow flowers out of the center of the table….meal time meant eating with Toris. _I can't do it_, Natalia realized. She couldn't bear to look him or his brothers in the eyes today.

Natalia had failed Toris, and the both of them together had failed Raivis and Eduard. _I can't stand it!_ The Belarusian stood up, her chair screeching against the floor in complaint.

"I'm going out."

Ivan's gaze shot up as he slowly lowered his tea. "Do I need to come?" he asked sullenly. Natalia would have probably found the gloom in his voice amusing, were it a different day and a different circumstance.

"Niama, Vanya. I can take care of myself. I need to run some errands before I leave tonight," Natalia left the kitchen, not looking back even though she was _sure_ that Toris was staring right at her. _I know, I know…we failed._

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ten minutes later, walking down the road, Natalia thought to herself, _I am a horrible person - one of the worst_.

_I'm a horrible person who lies to her brother; breaks her promises, and let's down the people she cares about…like Toris._

Natalia had no errands to run (just another one of the many lies she'd been telling to Ivan lately). All she needed was to be away from Toris and the other Baltics. She did not _need_ or _want_ to be confronted with her mistakes and failures the entire day.

Toris probably didn't want to be either, but the two of them were still not on speaking terms. His presence was _completely _out of the question. _Fuck, I'm an idiot. _Natalia kept beating herself up. _I had to go too far…I had to mess up again and again and again._

Wandering down the gravel roadside, she had no idea where she was going to go. Natalia decided to let her feet and subconscious take the wheel – her heart would just lead her in circles, and her wits and reasoning skills wouldn't do so good either…

First, she and her feet followed the route that Natalia and Toris had taken the day they went grocery shopping together. The storekeepers were setting out their meager collections of goods, and queues of mostly women were already lining up to buy them. Natalia stopped at the intersection where that danger-prone young boy was almost made into a dead boy, about a month and a half earlier.

_Does the time really go that quickly?_ The Belarusian felt old. _Time's catching up with me._

There were no reckless children hanging around today, so Natalia carried on to the spot on the riverbank where she and Toris had sat together, actually being civil with each other for the first time in a very long while.

_More like _I_ was being civil with _him_…Toris was always good to me._ She just wished it hadn't taken her so long to realize that. Natalia lay down on the grass, under the very tree where the pair of nations had held their first real conversation in years.

_It was wet that day - it's dry now…and warmer._ Indeed, it was true. Natalia was starting to get a little hot in her sweater-jeans combo, but she didn't want to expose her bare skin to the tickly, new-growth grass either.

Three birds sang above her, jumping and fluttering from branch to branch. They were caught in the midst of a mating ritual - two males vying for the attention of a single female. Feathers flashed and wings flapped.

Natalia watched, entranced, as one of the males finally flew off in defeat, quickly becoming a small dark smudge perched on a distant rooftop. The other was busied with parading himself around the tree pompously, warning all other avian creatures that this lovely female was his to indisputably claim. Nothing could take her away from him.

_Am I the female bird, or a male?_ Natalia found this natural scenario playing out in front of her very much like the one she was living.

She ripped up handfuls of soft grass absently, not giving any mind to all the scrubbing she'd have to do later in order to get all the dirt out from under her nails_... and if I'm one of the males, am I the victor or the loser?_

Sighing and shaking her head, she scolded herself. _Stop thinking about such odd things!_

Natalia skipped lunch and continued her nostalgic wander. She visited various places that Toris had taken her - including a little, out-of-place but quaint cafe in the center of town, a quiet pasture a few miles beyond Ivan's house, and an old bridge standing over a stream on a path in the woods that teemed with life - not necessarily in that order.

They had gone to many places to discuss the Baltics' escape plan; as long as it wasn't somewhere Ivan could drop in. Usually Toris picked where they went; every time he did, it was always someplace with a peculiar, magical feel that the duo ended up at.

_There is beauty everywhere_, Natalia had learned. …_as long as you look for it._

Natalia spent the day crisscrossing between the town and the surrounding area by Ivan's property until she had gone everywhere she'd felt obligated, or needed to. The Belarusian checked her watch - it had been a New Year's gift from her sister, Irina. She had only just started using the too-dainty-little thing, partly out of newfound respect for the older Ukrainian.

_How much did Irina spend on this? Where the Hell did she get the money?_

The little golden hands and white face of the watch informed her it was three-thirty in the afternoon. She had been out since six that morning.

_Time to go back._

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia flung her shoes away when she stepped inside the house, caring less about where they landed than the fact that they were off. Ivan's own sturdy boots were gone, as was the battered briefcase he always left beside the door. He was not home.

Toris was out as well, presumably completing an errand that had been concocted so he could get out the house for a bit. _Maybe he's doing what I just did…_the thought actually kind of made her feel happy.

The other two Baltics were consumed with chores, and even some paperwork – in short, they were staying out of sight for the most part. Natalia had nothing to do, and no one to talk to. _I think that's actually a good thing today._

She settled on the couch in front of the fireplace, which stood cold and empty. Natalia was tired. She was tired of everything, from her conflicting emotions, to the constant ache in her legs caused by the distance she had walked that day.

There were four hours to kill before her train left, so why not take a nap?

Natalia slept easily, with an unusual peace for about forty five minutes. And this uneventful calm would have continued were she not ripped unceremoniously from her slumber by earsplitting screams.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia's first few moments of consciousness consumed her with the confusion and fear of someone who has no idea what's going on, or where they woke up. She then realized that they weren't screams, exactly. They were shouts…and that she was in Ivan's living room.

"Ne! Prašome, sustoti - it's not what you think!" This cry was followed by a sick-sounding impact, like flesh on flesh…in fact, it probably was.

_Toris!_ Something was happening…and it did not sound very good. Natalia leapt off the couch - and walking with light footsteps - honed in on the location of the struggle.

_It's coming from the main hallway..._rushing up to the doorway that led into the corridor, Natalia was met by a horrible sight. She froze, petrified by a strange mix of fear, boiling anger, and uncertainty alike.

_I've finally caught Ivan in the act…_was the only thought in her mind, flashing and repeating itself like some sort of billboard in Alfred's beloved Times Square, something she had seen only a few times.

Ivan's back faced her, Toris pinned against the wall in his tight grasp. There was an ugly bruise on the side of the Lithuanians face, quickly darkening underneath his skin – he looked at the Russian with eyes that said "Defiance" and "Terrified" in the same sentence.

Eduard and Raivis were huddled in the kitchen doorway, held captive by their frightened and worry-driven curiosity – what was going to happen to Toris? - the younger was behind the elder; it almost looked like a protective stance. Eduard had his arms spread wide, and Raivis peeked out from over his shoulder.

"Please!" Toris gasped again. "I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Braginski!"

Ivan's voice was high pitched, sugar sweet. "Don't lie to me, Toris." Toris was grasping increasingly desperately at Ivan's hands, which tightly encased his entire neck in a suffocating cage of flesh and bone.

_Niama! It's too soon…what am I supposed to do!_ Save Toris…or alienate Ivan from her life? He may have been misguided and insane, but that didn't mean he wasn't her brother anymore. Natalia looked at Eduard and Raivis, trembling in fear and helplessness as they watched the Lithuanian's assault. She looked at Toris, who was attempting to plead with Ivan, trying to utter words that wouldn't come.

_Enough...is ENOUGH._ She took a confident and anger-driven step out into the hall, and was immediately spotted by all three Baltics. Toris managed to breathe just deeply enough to croak her name. "...Na...Natalia..."

Ivan cocked his head to the side – Natalia couldn't see his face, but she was sure he was grinning by the tone of his voice. "

"Natasha…moya sestra? I have seen the way you two look at each other…but she's not here now. There is no one to help you, da? Calling her name will not make her appear."

_I'm not here now…what? Oh!_ She realized. _Ivan thinks I'm still out of the house! He wasn't home when I got back, and then I went to sleep..._

Eduard motioned for her to step out of view, so reluctantly – but silently - she sank back into the dark enclave of the living room…but only enough that she could still see what was happening in the hallway. Fury and confusion muddled her mind. She loved Toris, and here he was getting beat up on by her brother. But she loved Ivan as well, just in a different way. Natalia knew she had to do the right thing...but how?

Ivan, in the meantime, was shaking Toris around like a rag doll.

"You and your brothers have plotted against me," he sang. "You were going to leave me…nyet – we won't be having any of that!"

Ivan spun around to climb the steps, forcing Natalia to hide herself behind the sitting room wall completely so he wouldn't see her. Frozen with fear and indecisiveness, she listened to her brother's heavy footsteps on the wooden staircase, as well as the scuffling and rebellious cries of Toris's struggle. As soon as Natalia heard Ivan's bedroom door slam shut, she raced across the hall to the other Baltics.

"What happened?" she whispered frantically. "Tell me - quickly!" Eduard, still protecting little Raivis, spoke softly and swiftly.

"I was eavesdropping on you and Toris a few weeks ago...," he blushed, and pushed up his glasses – something, she noticed, the Estonian did when he was nervous or under duress. "…sorry about that," he continued. "You were spending time together, and I thought something was up so-"

"Never mind that," Natalia snapped, hungry for information on the incident that had just occurred before them. "Just tell me what happened!"

Eduard, looking shaken, continued. "I told Raivis about it, but...but...we figured it fell through a while ago because you didn't tell us anything."

All the color remaining in Eduard's and Raivis's faces was drained at this point. Toris's cries of pain and protest easily penetrated their ears, even from one whole floor away.

"Well, Raivis and I were discussing it today...a-and Mr. Braginski came in early, Toris right behind…"

_I wonder if they were out doing something together? Ivan probably dragged Toris along._

"He went straight for Toris," Raivis whispered, his tone saddened and awestruck.

"Mr. Braginski practically tackled him," Raivis continued, Eduard nodding grimly every now-and-then. "Toris tried to run, but he got caught. And now..."

The end of Raivis's statement was punctuated by a particularly loud cry of "Sustoti! Stop, I mean it! Get off!" It was accompanied by a crash. _Oh, God…_

Natalia had to do something, very soon. She had to find _something_ to help Toris - anything!

And then, she saw it. On the kitchen table, lying in front of Ivan's chair...was the gun. The gun her brother so loved and cherished.

...did she even dare? Natalia rushed to the weapon, grabbing it and checking to make sure the chamber was fully loaded. Apparently, she did dare.

It was a rather foolhardy action on Ivan's part – leaving a fully-loaded gun (he still liked to fire it off, in the woods sometimes) unattended, and right within the reach of someone who'd want or _need_ to take advantage of it.

"What are you going to do with that?" Eduard asked, panicking now. He tried to grab her arm, but she shrugged him off easily. Paying the Estonian no heed, Natalia ascended the stairs to the second floor. She had to get this done and over with, _now_, lest she lose her tenuous nerve.

_I can do this I can do this I can do this._

She ran to Ivan's door, not giving a care in the world to the loud footsteps she was making on the wooden floorboards. Natalia hesitated before touching the handle, as if it would burn to the touch.

_Do I _really_ want to do this?_

Toris let out another cry, closer and louder than ever – it wasn't words this time, just a muffled shout - it was a catalyst from her indecision to her final verdict.

_Yes, I do._

With one swift motion, Natalia cocked the pistol and opened the door at the same time.

The Belarusian knew that what she saw would be forever burned into her memory - Ivan had Toris on the bed, half dressed. Toris, for his part, was resisting valiantly. It was less a "romantic tousle" than that of a rabid animal wrestling it's meal-to-be.

Once again, Ivan's back was facing her. His head was directly in her line of fire. Natalia raised the pistol with shaking hands, took a deep breath_...I'm sorry, Vanya..._and fired.

A sound like a firecracker resounded throughout the house, and immediately after, Ivan sank to his knees. There was a small, neat, bloody hole punched in the back of his skull. His body made a _wumph_ noise as it hit the floor.

She had killed her brother...temporarily. It sunk in rather quickly.

"I-I-I...," for once, the Belarusian was completely speechless. Ivan's gun clattered to the ground. Toris, rather worn and injured-looking but not nearly as much as he could've been, picked himself up off of the bed and wrapped Natalia in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "I'm sorry you had to choose..." _He understands…all that, and he understands!_ She wanted to laugh like a maniac.

Natalia stared at her brother's body, so empty and cold. _I did that...but it was the right_ _thing..._the entire situation just seemed so alien, so surreal.

_I'm in shock_, she thought. _I can't move, I can't feel, I can't think..._

They stood in the doorway, Natalia once again in the safety of Toris's arms. She knew he wouldn't let go until she was alright. He would hold her until she had a grip on her emotions, and on the state of her mind.

After about ten minutes of silent, tearless grief, Natalia forced herself to get it together. _Just forget...just forget and get on with your life..._

"Come on," she grabbed his hand. "We need to get you guys out of here…I'm alright." She caught Toris giving her a skeptical look.

"What? I am!"

"But...you're not alright, Natalia," she knew she couldn't lie to Toris – well she could try, but it wouldn't work. But she could pretend…the Lithuanian would respect that, at least.

"_Yes_, I am. Drop the subject, kali laska. Now let's go."

In actuality, she was a psychological and emotional wreck. But now was not the time or place for Natalia to deal with her guilt. In her head-world, she was fine and dandy - never better - as good as always.

Hand in hand, they raced through the hallway and down the stairs, finding Eduard and Raivis waiting anxiously at the bottom step.

"Mr. Braginski...?" Eduard timidly questioned. _They were afraid to come up? Make sense, I guess._

"Out of the way, for now," Toris replied, thankfully sparing Natalia the duty of providing an answer.

"But we need to move fast. It's essential that you, Raivis and I," he pointed to himself, and each of his brothers in turn,"…are miles and miles away before Mr. Braginski recovers.

Eduard, always the brainy one, looked up after a few quick moments of deep thought.

"I have an idea..."

**(A/N)** Ohhhh, I left you hangin'! Evil, aren't I? And after making you wait for more than a week for an update :( Sorry about that – things have been crazy lately, as you could imagine, what with moving and everything. I probably won't be uploading anything for another week, as I have to go away to band camp (with my new marching band…should be intense!) and I will most definitely not be bringing my laptop to somewhere where somebody could steal it (seriously…my life's on the damn thing).

I edited this at three in the morning, so forgive me for any mistakes.

And yes, Natalia reads Marxist novels and stuff like that for "a good laugh" ;)

**DICTIONARY:**

**Dobroe utro **– Good morning in Russian

**Da **- yes

**Nyet **- no

**Moya sestra **– My sister

**Dy** – yes in Belarusian

**Niama** - no

**Kali laska **- please

**Ne **– no in Lithuanian

**Prašome, sustoti **– Please, stop it

**HISTORICAL/ OTHER NOTES:**

In 1990, Vytautas Landsbergis, the non-Communist head of the largest Lithuanian popular movement (Sajudis), was elected president. On the same day, the Supreme Council rejected Soviet rule and declared the restoration of Lithuania's independence, the first Baltic republic to take this action. Confrontation with the Soviet Union ensued along with economic sanctions, but they were lifted after both sides agreed to a face-saving compromise (Source – Some website I found).

And just so you know, in real life, I don't think that Belarus was instrumental in the declaration of Lithuania's independence (that's where the fanfic part comes in people…some might call it "head cannon").

Thanks! ~ V.o.t.s.


	9. Chapter 9

**Nineteen Ninety** – Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: **Hetalia is not my property to claim, and also, I highly recommend that you DO NOT try to replicate the little train-exit stunt that Natalia pulls in this chapter…(I don't even know if it'd work, but humor me).

Although we have to be apart,

We'll always be together,

Close enough in mind and heart

To manage any weather.

Reality is often bleak,

But love remains inside

A glass house on a mountain peak,

The wintry world beside.

Love can build its own four walls

And heat its own small room.

Through icy winds and blinding squalls,

Love can be in bloom.

Though continents drift far downstream

And mountains disappear,

And life dissolve into a dream,

Our love will still be here,

You'll turn, and I'll be here.

Nicholas Gordon

Forty five minutes later, after Eduard and Raivis had been informed of their situation, after the Estonian had come up with a solution, and after Toris had redressed, the four of them were walking swiftly and purposefully into the train station. Each Baltic carried a medium-sized suitcase filled with personal belongings, and some necessary things for survival - like food and water. Natalia led them, chin held high and poise confident; she had to look the part of an elite party member (which she had once wanted to be) in order for this to work.

It had been Eduard's idea to have Natalia act as their "caretaker," and hopefully, if they played their cards right, the attendants at the station would believe that she was escorting three mental patients from one city to another. During their talks, Natalia and Toris had figured out what to do _after _they managed to get the tickets, but not _how_. That, they had figured, was impossible.

It was through and ironic twist that the nation who they excluded from their plan making just gave them half of one. _I guess I take that as a lesson…_

_It's so simple, really. I have no idea why we didn't think of this before..._maybe because her brother wasn't dead by her own hand, "before". The Belarusian approached the ticket booth, Toris close behind.

"Four tickets to Minsk," she asked without a trace of pleasantness. The ticket booth operator, a man of about fifty it seemed, was caught off guard by her tone.

"Ahhh...," the man squinted to see the Baltics behind her, and his eyes widened. "Oh no," he said, shaking his head, expression seemingly indignant, but actually fearful to a perceptive eye. "I can give _you_ a ticket, Miss…?"

"Arlovskya," She supplied, trying her hardest to sound ridiculously haughty – like she was used to getting her way and other people doing her work…_which isn't that different from how my life usually is, actually…._

"...Miss Arlovskya, I can give you a ticket, but _not_ the three men behind you." Now, it was time to turn on the charm. And charm in Natalia's case usually meant intimidation. She leaned forward on the counter in front of her, looking the man straight in the eye.

"_I don't think you understand_," she said, overly sweet – just like her brother. "You see, I _have permission_ to bring these men _with me_." She flashed a quick – un-genuine looking - grin. "They have _many_ psychological shortcomings, but there is a doctor in Minsk that might be able to help them - and since _I am their cousin_, it is my duty to escort them there."

"But, Miss Arlovskya, I'm under strict orders - ," he sputtered. Natalia felt her expression darken; her hands tighten on the edge of the booth.

_He's afraid of Ivan…I can use that._

"Ivan Braginski is my older brother…do you know who he is? Do you know _what_ he is?"

"Y-yes, but –"

"Then you would know that he doesn't like people who question his authority…," Natalia was using her nastiest, most venomous voice at this point, but the smile still remained. The man tried to say something, but she steamrolled right over him; verbally, of course.

"…if you doubt _my_ integrity, you're doubting my _brother's_ by default. I'd _hate_ to have to call dear Vanya here, just to placate the moronic misgivings of someone as stupid and low ranking as _you_." Natalia…didn't like saying those things, and she liked it less that Toris was there to witness them.

_But I'm doing it for him and his brothers – that's got to count for something, right?_

Smiling demonically and continuing her little charade, Natalia leaned even further over the counter.

"He has…_connections_. Straight to the top, if you know what I mean…," she whispered, hand cupped around her lips, implying that the words were meant for her and the man alone. "It wouldn't be that hard for me to get a certain _ticket booth operator_ sent to the worst prison in the Union."

Suddenly, the smile was wiped off her face, and she was no longer on the counter; both feet were planted firmly on the floor. "It's your choice," Natalia told him, as if the conversation a few moments ago had not taken place. "Give me the tickets…or not...,"

"Here!" The operator practically threw the tickets into her face. "I'm sorry Miss Arlovskya, go ahead! Right through those doors...," he pointed to show them the way. Natalia stared at the man, not breaking eye-contact with him for a second, as she gathered up the tickets, then turned to Toris and the other two.

"Come along," she shot one last frightening glance back at the operator, who looked as white as a sheet and ready to fall over.

_The threat of life imprisonment can do that to a person._

The four of them continued on their path to the platform and once they were far enough away from the operator, Toris quietly said, "That was…impressive, Natalia."

She couldn't suppress a grin – the Belarusian had never been one for modesty. She knew just how convincing her performance had been – Natalia hadn't meant a word she said back there, but the she was happy that her "verbal improvisation" skills were still as convincing as they were years ago.

Upon walking out onto the platform they found that the long, sleek train was already pulled into the station, ready for passengers to board. They wouldn't be getting into a passenger car, though…

OoOoOoOoOoO

"_Spiašajciesia_! Hurry, while nobody's looking!" Natalia was standing in the doorway to the luggage car, as were Eduard and Raivis. Toris was running across the platform, towards the safety of the luggage car.

With one lucky leap of herculean effort, he joined them in the rather drafty compartment. It was behind third class, and as such, wasn't very well accommodated. This space had only ever carried suitcases, not people. That was about to change.

"No one saw me?" Toris asked, winded and setting down his suitcase.

"Niama," Natalia assured him. "No, I'm positive." They had stowed away in the baggage car one at a time, racing across the platform when the coast was clear and free of scrutinizing eyes. Raivis had been first, followed by Natalia (Toris insisted), then Eduard, and lastly Toris himself.

She gave him a quick hug. She would've liked it to be longer and more intimate – she could sense Toris wanted this too - but Eduard and Raivis were there.

"Why did we even get tickets if we were just going to ride in the baggage car?" Raivis asked Toris, putting his heavy luggage on the floor.

"It was so they couldn't stop us from getting onto the platform," Toris answered patiently. "We had permission to board the train that way."

Natalia continued where Toris left off. "And you can't ride in the passenger compartment because you'll get checked for papers or passports, or something. I won't be here to cover for you the entire journey, you know."

"I take it were not going all the way to Minsk, are we?" Eduard surmised.

"Ne," Toris affirmed. "We're going to ride until it suits us. We'll get off at an appropriate stop, and then figure out how to get home from there."

The Estonian frowned, skeptical and quite understandably afraid. "It sounds risky..."

_What in this situation isn't?_ "Of course it is," she said. "But what other options are there?"

"You'll have to lie low - at least until other countries recognize your independence," Natalia instructed them. They probably already knew this, but it made her feel better to remind them.

She looked to Toris. "Don't take any unnecessary risks…promise?"

Toris smiled. "Only if it's absolutely necessary."

Natalia grabbed his hand, securing it in her own. _We did it..._victory was bittersweet. Toris was free, but he was leaving her.

"How can we ever repay you, Natalia?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Natalia saw Eduard trying shepherd Raivis further away.

"Come on, Raivis, let's go over here..."

"Why? It doesn't matter where we –"

"…just...come on. I'll explain to you later…"

She felt gratitude towards the Estonian - he was trying to give her and Toris privacy. With the limited space in the baggage car it wasn't going to be very much, but the attempt was definitely appreciated.

"You don't have to," she told Toris, both of them turning their attentions back to one another. "You don't owe me anything. Just stay safe, that's all I ask...," she felt a lump begin to form in her throat, thickening her words and making it hard to talk.

_Niama! I've managed this far...stay strong…_

The carriage jerked as the train began to move, beginning its journey down the tracks and into the night.

"What are you going to do when your independence is recognized, and you get to go back home?" _Good, something else to talk about._

"I don't know...clean probably. I haven't been in my own house for about...oh, geez, fifty years!"

Natalia laughed, despite how rotten and horrible she was feeling. Toris's presence helped to keep all those nasty feeling at bay, like a barrier of happiness or something.

"Actually, Toris continued, sobering. "I think I'm going to spend some time with Feliks. I...I think it's about time I made things right with him," he smiled sadly and shook his head. "…and you, Natalia? What are you going to do?"

What _was _she going to do? The Union was falling apart, she had just killed her beloved brother, fallen in love with a man she once despised, and was helping him escape back to his home. So, Natalia just told Toris what her heart was saying.

"I don't know. Maybe…maybe what I _really_ want is to go with you."

Toris squeezed her hand. "Natalia you can't. I don't want you to get in trouble with your brother. I know he would never hurt you, but..."

"Our relationship as siblings is doomed anyway!" Natalia cried in protest. "How am I going to explain what happened? He's going to want to know who shot him!"

A voice called from the other end of the car – "Tell him I did it!" Raivis shouted.

"Raivis!" Eduard could be heard, scolding his younger brother gently. "What did I say about being quiet?" Raivis mumbled what could have either been an apology or a series of curses – it was hard to hear.

Then Eduard too, said – "Tell Mr. Braginski that I shot him - he'll believe it. Or better yet, let him make that deduction himself."

"See?" Toris said, smiling. "Problem solved." Natalia grinned. _So privacy was just an illusion after all..._the two younger Baltics had heard everything that Natalia and Toris said. But far from being angry, she was actually kind if amused.

_They really are like younger siblings._

The train was picking up speed. It was about time that she started heading to the back of the long chain of carriages and passenger cars. _Time to go..._

She had to stay on until they were a ways away from the station - it wouldn't be very good for the act she pulled if people saw her take alleged mental patients onto a train bound for Minsk, and then just leave them there.

"Let's go, Natalia," Toris gently reminded her. "We need to get you off the train before it picks up to full speed." She nodded, somber. Natalia waved to the other two, still standing at the other end of the carriage. Eduard and Raivis waved back; the latter more enthusiastically than the former.

She and Toris walked through the aisles of the compartments behind the baggage car. They walked swiftly, but not _so_ swiftly as to attract attention. They avoided eye contact with everybody, and somehow managed to brush past every attendant and personnel member on the train with no problems. There had been a few glances in their direction, but those glances didn't linger.

Natalia and Toris looked like a couple, either finding their seats or meeting up with some friends sitting in another car. They could have been ordinary passengers, easily. They didn't merit anyone's suspicion.

The last car only had two people in it, and they were asleep. _Another lucky break..._

They opened the door that lead to a tiny maintenance platform on the back of the train. The scenery was going by quickly, as the train slowly gained speed to begin its usually lightning-fast, routine voyage. _Here we are._ Her emotions came to a peak – elation, sadness…loneliness.

Natalia threw her arms around Toris's torso unexpectedly, burying her face in his shoulder so he wouldn't see the rarely-cried tears that were blazing watery, salty trails down her cheeks.

"Dziakuj," she said, struggling to keep her voice from wavering.

"For what?" The Lithuanian sounded genuinely surprised, like he didn't think his actions over the last month had aided Natalia in way what-so-ever.

_Oh, but they have…_

"For helping me realize how to truly love."

"You didn't need me to do that, Natalia…"

She felt a warm hand under her chin, lifting it upwards. Their eyes met. Winter-blue greeted emerald-green warmly, like an old friend. He gently wiped her face dry, and she let him do so without any protest or resistance.

_It feels nice to know he cares about me…_no. Not nice – _great_.

There was an electric feeling in the air- something new was about to happen, and it was going to change the both of them forever. Natalia slowly brought her arms up and around Toris's waist. He leaned in tentatively, slowly closing the distance between them. Their lips touched very softly.

It was a short, sweet kiss - delicate and full of emotion. He had touched her like she was made of glass, just as she had him. It was much less graphic than any amorous affection Natalia had imagined sharing with her brother…it was nice.

She felt the energy created by Toris's touch. It raised the hairs on the back of her neck, and spread a happy, tingly feeling all the way down to her toes. Toris pulled away. They looked at each other, but only for a moment. Natalia made the already small gap disappear again, very quickly.

The second time around was even better - deeper, longer. She slid her arms up around Toris's neck, tangling her fingers in his brown hair. His hands settled on her hips, pulling their bodies closer together. Natalia leaned into him, surrendering herself all but completely to the ecstasy that filled her. This kiss was occupied with thoughts and feelings that didn't need to be spoken.

Was it love? Real heart-pounding-breath-taking-logic-defying-get-married-have-kids-deep-passion love? Most likely…to Natalia, it felt like a fresh start.

They broke apart reluctantly; both of them pink cheeked and gasping for air. Toris paused in his recovery to tuck an errant strand of wispy blonde hair behind Natalia's ear. She smiled softly at him, despite the foreignness of the entire experience. They had moved closer together again - _dammit, where's a bedroom when you need one_ - as the train began to slow.

The train was nearing a bend in the tracks - it was easily visible in the distance. It was also her stop.

"You...you should probably get off now..." Toris said quietly, the aroused blush fading from his cheeks. Natalia nodded, throat tight.

_Don't cry...don't cry!_

Toris offered a hand, helping her over the railing, making sure she didn't slip. Natalia didn't need it but she thought it was nice that he cared.

They stood like that, him on the tiny sliver of a maintenance platform, her hanging onto the railing - feet perched not-very-assuredly on a slim purchase of platform that stuck out slightly over the rushing ground below. Natalia was suddenly ten times more grateful for Toris's assistance. Tumbling off the end of the train was not an appealing notion.

Neither one of them wanted to say goodbye.

"I wish it didn't have to be this way," she said. "I don't want to leave you. Not now."

Toris smiled sadly, still gripping her hands firmly. "When all of this is over, we can be together…but until then…"

_Until then, "us" would be impossible._

"…I'd really like that."

They shared one last smile, one last small kiss, their lips touching for just a moment. The train was slowing now, having come to the bend in the tracks.

_Here goes nothing…_

Natalia gripped Toris's forearms tightly - tighter than she had anything ever before in her entire existence, and he did the same. He slowly lowered her to the ground, until she was running at a considerable pace alongside the steel tracks.

"On the count of three?" he shouted over the noise of the wheels and the wind.

She nodded twice. _Oh boža, this is so unreal...and dangerous..._

"Vienas..."

A glance was granted to the turning train wheels. It would hurt like Hell to get run over by them.

"…du..."

As nations, they may not have been able to die permanently from physical wounds, but that still didn't mean it wouldn't be excruciatingly painful should one be inflicted. The last thing she needed was to be lying incapacitated and waiting for her crushed legs to heal. The fact that she had to get back to Ivan before he woke up was _crucial_.

"…trys!"

They both released each other at the same time. Natalia stumbled for a few uncomfortably quick steps, then tripped and slid to a stop on her hands and knees. She'd avoided the wheels. Relief and adrenaline flooded her senses like a tidal wave.

She opened her eyes_...thank boža that's over_ - and watched the train race off into the distance as it picked up to full speed. Toris still stood on the platform, one arm held high in the air as a final goodbye. Even from where she stood, Natalia could make out the smile splitting his features.

She raised her own arm to counter his, an identical grin forming on her face. Natalia watched the train until she couldn't see it anymore. _We did it…and we're going to be together._

The sun was setting, and the light was fading fast. She had to get back to Ivan's house – who knew when he'd wake up? Natalia turned, and began to follow the train tracks back to town.

It had to have been at least two and a half hours of brisk walking before she reached her brother's front door.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia was there when Ivan woke up. She watched, stationed in a chair beside his bed, as his amethyst eyes flickered open.

_I used to love those eyes..._

"Natasha?" he struggled to right himself.

"Spynić, Ivan," she lay a hand on his chest, pushing him back down onto the soft white sheets. "You've had enough excitement as it is."

The Belarusian could see the bewilderment in her brother's eyes.

"W-what happened?" It was not often that Ivan stuttered. _He must be really out of it…a guess a bullet to the brain would do that to you._

Natalia took a deep breath, and prepared to reiterate the story she'd spent the last day and a half rehearsing in her head. She was also trying to suppress the misgivings she felt in shooting Ivan - an action that was necessary to save Toris, and for that she was over joyed. But it's hard for anyone to shoot their brother, even if he was trying to hurt other loved ones.

There were so many turns this conversation could take. Mentally, the she steeled herself.

_I'm vieĺmi škada I had to shoot you, Ivan._

"They shot you, Ivan - in the head." _There. That wasn't very hard. I think..._

Ivan's confusion turned into silent rage. His gaze hardened as he remembered.

"Really?" he said softly. "Eduard did it, da? Toris was…preoccupied, and spineless little Raivis wouldn't have the gall…"

Natalia had the feeling that Ivan was talking out loud to himself, rather than her. Still, she nodded in agreement, letting him work everything out for himself – _like Eduard suggested _- just in case.

A moment deadly of silence sat between them. Not directed at her, but the not-present Baltics.

"Where are they now?" his voice was pitched low, but sounded kind at the same time - dangerous. _This is even worse than when his voice got all singy-songy…_

"I don't know," Natalia lied, meeting Ivan's eyes with difficulty. "I came home from running errands, and all three of them were gone."

Could he see her guilt? Could he sense it in any way? Natalia felt like she was Broadcasting _I DID IT _rays to everyone. _He believes you, just keep your head._

"I called the train station asking if they'd seen them," she continued her carefully constructed story. "…the border patrol and local police stations as well."

"Were they seen? Caught?"

"Yes, and no. I got all the responsible personnel fired for not – "

"I should go after them," he said interrupted quietly, with eyes like murder.

"Niama!" she exclaimed. "No, Ivan, please. You've been shot in the head! Just give yourself a day in bed, at least."

Natalia clasped one of his hands in hers. She noticed that he was examining her warily, so she let go. He was still concerned about her amorous feelings for him? _Funny - they aren't there anymore._

"I've been worried about you, Ivan." _Because of the wound I gave you!_

It was hard lying to her brother. It was something Natalia had never done before...out-rightly, at the very least. She twisted her hands in her lap. Hopefully, her nervousness would be taken for concern. It seemed that was the case, as Ivan's expression quickly softened.

"They'll come back," he said confidently, eyes half closed and body slack with exhaustion. "They always do." Right, because he _dragged _or _coerced_ them back, usually.

"I'll sanction them," he declared. "They won't survive without me…"

_Not this time Ivan. Not this time._ The world was different now – no one would stand for the forced take-over of a nation fighting against an oppressive regime. The fate of the world was intertwined – what affected one affected all. If Ivan tried to reclaim the Baltics, someone would protest for sure.

"So, you'll rest?" she asked. _It's almost too easy. I keep expecting him to protest._

"Da," Ivan finally nodded. "…if it will make Natasha happy."

Natalia smiled, and got up to leave. "I'll be staying until you get better. I'm going to bed now - if you need something, just yell."

Ivan nodded again, and closed his eyes. He was asleep immediately - like flipping an off switch.

She closed the door quietly, padding down the hall. But Natalia didn't stop in front of her own door. She kept going, all the way to Toris's, and opened it. Stepping inside, the Belarusian cast looks in every direction. The room felt bare, despite the presence of all its furniture.

The miniscule touches that had made it the Lithuanian's were absent, and now the space could have belonged to anybody. His pictures were gone from the dresser, and a couple books were missing from various places. The drawers had been emptied of all his clothing and the neatly organized shoes were taken from under the bed. Tiny little decorations were absent from nooks and crannies from around the room.

Yet, everything was clean – neat and orderly. The hast and chaos that had been present as the Baltics vacated was not evident here, as it was in Raivis and Eduard's quarters. Natalia grabbed a pillow from its place by the headboard; this was something personal he hadn't taken. It was almost as if Toris had known shed want some inconspicuous way to keep some part of him near.

Natalia brought the pillow back to her room, and hugged it close as she fell asleep. It wasn't as good as the real thing of course, but it helped a little. She buried her face in the soft fabric that still smelled like him.

_Toris..._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Two days later Ivan was completely recovered, and Natalia was catching the night train to Minsk. It was just getting dark out when she was ready to depart. Once again her bags were lined up, but this time by the door instead of the foot of her bed. Natalia stood at the open threshold, Ivan next to her.

He looked...weaker. His skull was mended, his brain tissue repaired, and his motor skills functional. But something in Ivan was missing, and Natalia wasn't quite sure if the Russian would ever get it back.

_The danger of being the head of a union..._

If your members abandoned you, how could you possibly hope to maintain your power?

"Thank you for letting me stay here, Ivan. It would've been a lonely spring otherwise."

"Da," he nodded. "I will be missing you, Natasha. You are sure that I don't need to –"

"No," She cut him off. "I can get to the station by myself. You just take it easy for a few days, alright?"

A horn sounded, repeatedly. The taxi driver was getting impatient.

Natalia threw a deadly look at the impertinent driver, and the honking stopped almost immediately.

_Smart man..._

"I'd better go - my train leaves in an hour. Goodbye, Ivan!" Had she still felt the same about her brother, she would've drawn him into a hug and not let go, demanding a kiss. And not a sibling-appropriate kiss, either.

_But now I know of a healthier love._

"Natasha, wait."

Natalia stopped and spun on the spot, almost dropping everything she was carrying. "Yes, Ivan?"

"Why haven't you been calling me Vanya these past couple days?"

Her heart stuttered and skipped a beat, but she managed to not let the panic she was feeling show on her face…she hoped. _Am I found out?_

"Iva -… Vanya...I don't know. I didn't notice…"

Ivan stared, and Natalia stared right back. There was a moment of complete stillness - even nature seemed to sense the tense atmosphere. Finally, after a few moments that felt like an eternity, he shrugged.

"Whatever, Natasha - have a safe trip."

"Y-yes...bye…Vanya."

She gathered up her bags again, waving off Ivan's helping hand. After storing her baggage in the trunk and bidding her brother one last goodbye, Natalia slid into the passenger seat.

"Take me to the Train station," she told the driver, keeping her eyes on the road ahead. "And if you make it there in twenty five minutes I'll pay you double."

_Just get me away from here._

Natalia held in her emotion during the drive very well; the cab driver had absolutely no idea or indication of the turmoil that was tearing her apart inside. She looked for all the world like a bored young woman, with her arms crossed and looking out the window, not responding to anything the cab driver said.

_I'll never call him Vanya again_, Natalia silently vowed. _He doesn't deserve it, and I don't either._

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Twenty five minutes and a frighteningly fast and reckless taxi ride later, Natalia was standing – once again - in front of the train station.

She needed to buy a ticket, but not yet. Natalia dragged her belongings over to the farthest side of the street, and dug through a small tote until she triumphantly with drew a hat and a pair of cheap sunglasses. She'd scavenged them from a closet at Ivan's house the day before.

_Lord knows why he would need sunglasses._

Making sure she was out of sight, Natalia tucked her hair up under the hat, and donned the sunglasses. Hopefully her disguise would keep any of the personnel at the station from recognizing her - if they even remembered what she looked like.

The last thing she needed was for someone to see her, recognize her, and connect her with the Baltic's escape. Natalia wanted Ivan to stay completely in the dark about that, obviously. She didn't really believe that a hat and sunglasses would hide her identity indefinitely, but it should be able to service her for the thirty minutes she needed to buy a ticket and board the train.

She entered the station. There wasn't much activity - no one in this insignificant town needed to go to Minsk, it seemed. The only people present were the ticket booth operator, and a wizened old janitor sweeping the previous day's dirt into a dusty corner. There was not a single commuter, joyrider, or passenger waiting for the train.

Natalia approached the ticket booth - the only one even operating.

_This is an odd town to Have a station... No one hardly uses it!_

The operator - different from the one that had Natalia had confronted previously - looked up from a day old newspaper and smiled.

_Thank you, god!_

"What can I do for you?" The operator asked. _It had to have been a slow day for her to be in such a good mood…_She sent silent prayers of praise to the heavens.

Natalia, coolly and calmly, laid a rather sizable amount of money on the counter. "I'd like a one way ticket to Minsk, Belarus, please."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia was sitting comfortably in her seat, forehead leaning against the cool window. Dawn was beginning to break on the horizon - it was going to be a bright, beautiful day in Belarus.

She was home, one nine hour train ride later. Were things going to be different for her too, now? In some ways, yes - but something told Natalia that her government official wouldn't be as pro-capitalism and/or democracy as Toris's were. She still had a long way to go.

The train kept trundling on; The Belarusian had removed her disguise as soon as she left the station. Completely and utterly drained, Natalia closed her eyes, letting the gentle and extremely slight swaying motion of the carriage rock her back and forth.

_Where is Toris?_ she asked herself. _Surely he must be home by now…or maybe with Feliks, like he said - Eduard and Raivis are probably safe, too._

_When will I see him again?_ Natalia had absolutely no idea when her path would next cross with the Lithuanian's. And when it did, would they be able to consummate their feelings for one another?

The social and political climates didn't seem right for the world to know of their evolved relationship. It could be weeks, months even, for this whole independence ordeal to blow over - possibly years.

But none of it mattered.

_I don't give a damn about timing_, she told herself. _I care about Toris, and he cares about me. That's enough._

They'd play it low key, nothing as showy and open as getting married. A union between Lithuania and Belarus…the idea made her laugh. That wasn't them, was it? Maybe….

She promised herself that they wouldn't be like Roderich and Elizaveta. She and Toris, together they would be Simple, and secret…and complicated.

Unless, Toris desired otherwise? Now that she thought about it, the idea of a secret relationship wasn't really that appealing. It was too much work to maintain and it almost made it seem like they were ashamed of their love for each other.

It was then that the Belarusian truly grasped just how much she had changed over the last few weeks. No longer was Natalia concerned about her own wants and needs; someone else's took prevalence - Toris's...because she loved him.

She wasn't embarrassed of their relationship, she decided. In fact, she wanted the whole world to know. But they couldn't. Not yet.

_Love_, she mused. _It's a fickle thing, but I can see why people die for it._

Natalia checked her watch. It was still a good hour until she arrived at Minsk. She brushed her hair behind her ears, remembering the way Toris had done so after they kissed, and leaned back in her seat, gazing at the ceiling.

_The time might not be right for us now, Toris...but someday I'll be yours, and you'll be mine._ They would have to go on for a while, living their lives as if nothing had happened between them. He would be an independent nation, and she would have to feign the romantic feelings she used to have for Ivan – that was the only way the world could maintain its tenuous balance. And all the while, the two of them would be waiting for the other.

A smile worked its way across her features; a small, happy smile. She laughed out loud for the first time in a long while - a true, mirthful and deep bellied laugh. Tears also ran down her cheeks, because it just wasn't fair this way. No one was on the carriage to witness her breakdown, but even if there had been Natalia wouldn't have cared.

She dried her eyes on her sleeve, body racked by chuckles and silent sobs alike. _He promised, that someday wed be together. And I believe him wholly. _Natalia turned her attention back to the passing landscape. The nation felt at Peace, more so than she had incenturies.

_Someday, Toris. Someday.._.

Then, Natalia realized something. She didn't know the date. She tried to jog her memory by remembering a previous one.

_What was the date a few days ago, the day they left? Oh, I remember. It was the eleventh of March...nineteen ninety._

**THE END**

**(A/N) **Look, look, look! I actually finished a story (after a week of roasting on a football field, but whatever) :D I would just like to say "Thank you," to all the people who read, reviewed, faved, or added this story to their alerts. All feedback has been appreciated deeply, as have the faves! I consider **Nineteen Ninety** as my most successful story to date. If you want to read more by _moi_, just check out my profile – I've got **another LietBel story**, a **Fem!Liet/ America story**, and a **series of ones shots** (about England, America, Belarus, Liet, and Sweden) lined up. You know, not to shamelessly self-promote or anything…*_gets shot_*.

You can still review! I don't care how long it's been after the story was updated/published/finished! Just READ AND REVIEW! Please? I know, Imma review whore :3 But seriously…thanks.

…Can you picture Russia wearing sunglasses? _I wear my sunglasses aaattttt ~ nnigghht!_

Love y'all ~ V.o.t.s.

Also – stay tuned…I might write and epilogue.

**DICTIONARY:**

**Spiašajciesia **– hurry up in Belarusian

**Dziakuj** – thank you

**Boža **- God

**Vieĺmi škada **– so sorry

**Spynić **– stop

**Dy and Niama** – yes and no

**Vienas** – one in Lithuanian

**Du** - two

**Trys** – three

**Ne** – no

**Da** – yes in Russian

**HISTORICAL/OTHER NOTES**

On March 11, 1990, the Supreme Soviet proclaimed the re-establishment of Lithuanian independence. The Baltic republics were in the forefront of the struggle for independence and Lithuania was the first of the Soviet republics to declare independence. Vytautas Landsbergis became the head of the state and Kazimira Prunskienė led the Cabinet of Ministers. On March 15, the Soviet Union demanded revocation of the independence and began employing political and economic sanctions against Lithuania. Soviet military was used to seize a few public buildings, but violence was largely contained until January 1991. During the January Events, the Soviet authorities attempted to overthrow the elected government by sponsoring the so-called National Salvation Committee. The Soviets forcibly took over the Vilnius TV Tower, killing 14 unarmed civilians and injuring 700.[47] Moscow failed to act further to crush the Lithuanian independence movement and the Lithuanian government continued to work. Following the failed coup, Lithuania received widespread international recognition and was admitted to the United Nations.

And thus ends, the first fanfiction I have ever completed (I think…stay tuned for that possible epilogue!). So long, and thanks for reading.

~ V.o.t.s.


	10. Epilogue

**Nineteen Ninety **– Epilogue

**DISCLAIMER: **Hetalia most certainly does **not** belong to me, and _never_, EVER…will ;3

Life is relationships; the rest is just details.

- Gary Smalley

Many years passed...many more than Natalia cared to count. They passed the days, playing their little charade and going on as if nothing had happened between them - at least, until the time was right. She spent entire nights awake, remembering and fantasizing about that night Toris had slept in her bed…what she wouldn't give for that, now.

Wars had been fought, regimes crushed, economies had surged and fallen. It was nothing new to any nation. She went on with her life, and so did he. Anyone looking at the two of them would have no possible way to realize their sleeper-cell-like relationship…it was bizarre.

The Belarusian was beginning to lose hope, beginning to think that the time would never be right and she would never feel Toris's touch on her skin again…but then, one day, Natalia felt..._something_.

_What was that?_ It had almost been like an electric shock, or a light turning on. She sat up straight - she felt…_alive._ Natalia glanced around, trying to see if anyone else had experienced a similar phenomenon by looking at their faces.

_I'm sure mine looks surprised…_

The Belarusian was in a world meeting, surrounded by other countries, Toris among them. Right then, Kiku was giving a presentation on some type of efficient little gadget of his that was sure to revolutionize something-or-other...Natalia wasn't listening today, like she usually did. Today she was focused on something completely different.

_I wonder if…? _There was only one way to tell - she eagerly scanned the conference room for a familiar head of mousy-brown hair.

_There!_ Natalia didn't even have to try to get his attention - she already had it. Their eyes met directly and on purpose, for the first time in a long while. One quick stare, and Natalia could tell that the Lithuanian already knew and had felt what she herself had just realized.

_It's time - we don't have to pretend any longer…_it was almost unreal. Natalia had waited for so long…and now, just out of the blue, some kind God had decided to take pity on the two of them?

She discreetly slid her phone out of her bag by her feet. Irina, sitting beside her, raised an eyebrow at her younger sister's apparent rudeness, but otherwise remained silent and focused on Kiku.

Natalia gently tapped the screen until the device responded - she angled the screen away from Ivan, who was sitting on her other side. The Russian had taken to reading her personal messages, as of late...it wasn't something she was particularly pleased about, but condoned out of pure necessity.

_Will I still condone it, now? _She wondered. _What's Ivan going to think when I tell him? _She decided to put that off for as long as possible, and in the meantime, occupy her thoughts with the task at hand.

_The last thing I need is him getting all weird in front of everyone._

She scrolled quickly through her contacts list, passing the name and number if every existing country until she got to Toris's. She pressed against the touch-screen so hard, the Belarusian was surprised the thin plastic film covering the screen didn't crack.

_Meet me after the conference - in the empty room down the hall._ She typed quickly as to lessen the chance of her message being seen by possible prying eyes, and pressed SEND. Natalia was filled with a kind of giddy excitement, almost like a balloon was inflating in her chest, or she was standing on the edge of some great precipice. She hadn't felt like this since...well, since she'd said goodbye to Toris on the train.

_And now I...no, _we_... can feel that way all the time!_

Natalia glanced back up, trying to look immersed in Alfred's plan to lower international debt - Kiku had finished his presentation, and had retaken his seat by Heracles and Yao. She held her phone tightly in her hand, anticipating their dismissal from the never-ending meeting, but was nervous at the same time.

_What if he's moved on?_ She couldn't help but worry. _What if he stands me up?_ But some quiet, sensible little voice inside of her was saying _He won't stand you up…he's _Toris_._

It right after she'd ruminated on and dismissed these disturbing notions that her phone finally vibrated. She ignored the nudge and the slightly-dirty look from Irina, and angled herself away from Ivan's curious eyes (again).

The response read – _I'll be there ~ Toris._

Natalia smiled. She liked the way the Lithuanian had signed his name at the end of the text.

_Like a letter..._

She pressed delete and then slipped the device back into her bag. Beside her, she noticed Irina exhale a breath she'd apparently been holding in, and Ivan sit back in his chair, apparently slightly disappointed he hadn't been able to read none of what his younger sister had sent or received.

Natalia locked eyes with Toris again. She saw in him the same excitement that the she herself was feeling.

_I can't wait!_

It's amazing how slowly twenty minutes can pass when you're staring at the clock, counting them down one at a time...

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natalia had excised herself from her siblings' company almost as soon as Ludwig had said "Meeting adjourned," the German always had been very formal, following the rules and the long-established (but almost never abided by) conference protocol to a tee.

_You'd think he'd have loosened up a little, especially after all this time._ Natalia walked briskly down the hall, to the other meeting room where she told Toris to meet her. She wanted desperately to run, to sprint - but that wasn't really…

_Hell with it!_ She kicked off her heels, scooped them up into her hands, and raced down the hall to the room as quickly as she could, not caring who saw or who might have gotten in her way. Luckily, no one did – she would have plowed them into the floor.

The Belarusian was going so fast, she almost blew right past the entrance. Skidding to a stop, she opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it firmly behind her. Natalia turned, and her heart skipped happily in her chest. _Toris..._

"You came," she said. _Really? Couldn't think of anything better to say? _Under these circumstances, her choice of words was a little underwhelming. Toris didn't seem to mind, though.

_He never does._

The Lithuanian smiled, and walked away from the wall he'd been leaning against while he waited for her to arrive. "Of course I did," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I told you I would."

Natalia absolutely adored the way his touch felt at that moment - she wanted nothing but more. She pressed herself eagerly into his embrace, and together they shared another kiss like the one they'd exchanged on the train...on that tiny little maintenance platform...so, so long ago.

Her fingers were in his hair, and his hands gently brushed the soft, intimate places on her body. Natalia couldn't stand how much she wanted him, and she could sense that Toris was experiencing the same.

_I need him..._

She broke off their kiss gently, and began fumbling with the buttons on her blouse. Toris surprise her by lying and hand on hers, stopping the Belarusian from continuing the removal of her clothes.

"What?" She asked, afraid he had changed his mind. _Or did I just come on to quickly…again?_

But one look at his face told her that was not the case – it was obvious that Toris wanted it as much as Natalia did, but something was eating at him, and it was killing him to say it.

"What if someone walks in on us?" He asked concernedly, breathless from their endeavors, and slightly red-cheeked at the thought of making love in a public place.

Natalia smiled, once again reassured and slightly amused by Toris's fears. "No one's going to walk in on us...I promise."

Toris withdrew his hand slowly, and she once again went to work on her buttons.

"Natalia, wait!"

"Whhhaat?" she was getting more and more anxious, more eager to go all the way and continue what they had just barely started…what they had waited decades, almost a _century_ for. Toris had made it clear he wanted her…his question about the possibility of getting interrupted proved as much.

_Then why does he keep stopping me?_

"Before we do this," he said. "There's something I've always wanted to say to you..."

"Yes?" She asked, the singular word acting as a statement and a query at the same time. _If it's some type of cheesy pick up line, I swear…_

Toris took a breath, apparently trying to calm his nerves. "Natalia," he said, slowly and gently, as if each word were as precious to him as the Belarusian herself. "Aš tave myliu..."

Natalia beamed, the euphoria she was experiencing at that moment was too much to describe. It felt so natural, so right, that she couldn't possibly begin to imagine being with anyone else. _He just told me he loves me!_

"Toris," she replied just as tenderly, laying a hand on his cheek. "Ja taksama ciabie liubliu."

…_forever._

And with that, the two of them finally got to consolidate their feelings for the other with the most intimate act one can perform with another individual. It was wonderful, and it was Natalia's first. The man she had experienced it with would be her only. And afterwards, as they relaxed in each other's arms, lying on the floor, one thought managed to trail through her love-addled mind...

_"Someday"...is today._

**(A/N)** THE END…for real. I really should've saved my thanks and stuff for the epilogue, huh? Oh well! At least they're out of the way! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY…to me. But since I uploaded this, I guess it a present to all you guys, huh? Tell you what – make this an awesome birthday by giving me feedback :D hee, hee, hee, that would be awesome!

**ALSO:** I just uploaded a LietBel one-shot (if you can call 16,000+ words a "one-shot") called **The Sun Never Sets**…on the British Empire. Nah, just kidding! I just realized that, though. So, in short, go read and enjoy (and review…)!

And I know I already did this…but since I'm nice like that I'm going to do it again – Thanks to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE that read, reviewed, faved, or alerted this story. It's been a wonderful journey, and your feedback has helped me improve my writing skills and gave me motivation for when I was feeling low :)

**DICTIONARY:**

**Aš tave myliu – **I love you in Lithuanian

**Ja taksama ciabie liubliu –** I love you, too in Belarusian

**HISTORICAL/OTHER NOTES:**

This hasn't happened yet…_will_ it? Who knows – the future holds all kinds of wonderful possibilities ;)

**Thank you all, very, very much ~ V.o.t.s.**


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